IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#world #adults #home #children #study #technology #development
Technology brought many
inovations
Correct your spelling
innovations
 to humanity. One of
tham
Correct your spelling
them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the possibility to fulfill our obligations
such
 as study and
work
, from the comfort of our own homes. I believe
that is
 a positive development.
First
 of all, if we do not need to go out to
work
 or study, we can save a tremendous
amont
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
time
 that would be
waisted
Correct your spelling
wasted
show examples
 in traffic jams or in crowded public transportation,
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 leads to more
time
avaible
Correct your spelling
available
 to do other activities
such
 as
spendind
Correct your spelling
spending
 more
time
 with family, exercising or taking care of
houlsehold
Correct your spelling
household
 chores. My personal experience is a compelling example of
this
. In 2020, my boss asked me to
work
 from home for 6 months while they made an office renovation. I saved 2 hours in my day and that gave me the opportunity to start working out and
finally
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy weight.
Secondly
, the companies and schools can save money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
 and buildings rents,
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is a considerable amount of the expenses.
As a result
,
schooll
Correct your spelling
school
 fees and many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of products could have a price
reduction
Replace the word
reduced
show examples
 benefiting everyone. A primer example is the" online ballet academy of little angels".
Correct your spelling
That's
That
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
show examples
 a 100% online ballet academy, that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
lower price and give
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
show examples
 to many girls who would never have
conditions
Correct article usage
the conditions
show examples
 to pay for a traditional school of ballet. In conclusion, technology gave us the opportunity to
work
 and study from home and because of that we can save
time
 from
deslocations
Correct your spelling
dislocations
 and save money from rents of
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 and offices. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 I believe that it is a positive development.
Submitted by martinsaguiarsilva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: