Some people believe that children should be allowed to use mobile phones at an early age while others think that it's harmful to their development.Discuss Both of these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Since mobile phones became known to the general public in the early 1995s,they became a necessity and important thing to communicate. Today even a nine-year-old kid has a personal mobile. There is a genuine concern that telephones are useless and some can be even harmful. The advocates of

this

Linking Words

view argue that children don't need a phone. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both of these views and give my personal opinion. On the one hand,using iPhones at an early age is a good and common thing. Because by phone teenagers can learn whatever they want. They do not need books,libraries or e-books to get information and data. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

now the websites are full of data.

Additionally

Linking Words

,you can call and communicate with your child if you buy a phone for your kid.

Then

Linking Words

you will not be concerned about your minor.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, cell phones are

also

Linking Words

harmful because on the internet there is a lot of adult content and inappropriate products.Youth surfing the web may access sites which sell these kinds of things. And maybe the inside racism,hatred and religious intolerance.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, smartphones can be a cause of losing your seeing ability.

Then

Linking Words

tots have to wear glasses. To summarize what has been so far in my opinion, it's good to use gadgets at an early age.But before using

this

Linking Words

device adults should ban eighteen plus contents for kiddos and youngsters need to be educated about the dangers of the web and how to protect themselves from coming in content with offensive online content.

uluga2002Thu Apr 24 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Consider rephrasing it to better capture the reader's interest.

coherence and cohesion

Transitional phrases could help improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs. For example, 'On one hand' could be followed by 'Conversely' or 'On the other hand'.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. Personal anecdotes or studies about phone usage among children could strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Try to summarize your points in a more structured conclusion, reiterating your stance clearly. This will reinforce your opinion effectively.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view of both sides of the argument regarding children's use of mobile phones, which is commendable.

task achievement

The writer presents clear reasons for both sides of the debate, which is essential in a discussion essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
"IT IS SAID THAT SELF-STUDY IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL STUDENTS". Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In this competitive society, there has been considerable debate on whether independent studying is of paramount importance. In my opinion, I go along with this learning method, and in this essay, I will support my belief with detailed explanations and specific examples.
6
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars?
In the last three decades, the number of people using their private cars has risen significantly. Because of this, numerous cities in the world are challenged by traffic congestion due to the social status that folks have if they apply own their private vehicle and the government should improve public transportation infrastructure to reduce the number of traffic jams on the road.
6
band
Big companies should provide social and sports facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is generally believed that corporations not merely contribute to society through taxes they pay but also develop public facilities such as sports fields and community services. I firmly agree with this opinion due to a vast range of reasons which some of these motives will be addressed in this essay.
6.5
band
When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, our lives are increasingly developing. Meanwhile, new towns are organised, and many individuals believe that it is crucial to construct more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time. In my opinion, I agree that having more public parks and sports facilities is necessary, however, I disagree that a shopping centre is not as necessary as these facilities. The following essay will indicate my opinion.
7
band
Excessive computer gaming is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental health in the 21st century. Discuss the problems and associated solutions for this issue.
Nowadays, more and more children are spending their free time playing video games. This essay will discuss the problems associated with this action, and propose some possible solutions.

Some people believe that children should be allowed to use mobile phones at an early age while others think that it's harmful to their development.Discuss Both of these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

"IT IS SAID THAT SELF-STUDY IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL STUDENTS". Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars?

Big companies should provide social and sports facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Excessive computer gaming is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental health in the 21st century. Discuss the problems and associated solutions for this issue.