Experts say that if older people spend their time with others and exercise daily, they will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly people do not exercise and spend time alone. What are the reasons for this? How can this be resolved?

#experts #people #time #exercise #be

Indepence

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Independence

is a factor that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is becoming stronger in our world once the opportunities for getting a job are increasing.

However

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,However

show examples

some people say that the disadvantages of being your own boss

overbalance

Add a missing verb

are overbalance

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because you will have to

work

harder and probably

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

more isolated. In

this

essay

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,essay

show examples

I will show why I believe the

advantages

outweigh.

Firstly

this

globalizade

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globalized

world cames up with

different

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a different

show examples

manner of employment so it

fast

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is fast

show examples

for some

individuos

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individuals

get

Fix the infinitive

to get

show examples

a new

Remove the article

new work

a new job

show examples

work

. So, it can be

noticied

Correct your spelling

noticed

that people are becoming more and more

intrepeneurs

Correct your spelling

entrepreneurs

wich

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which

show examples

is understandable since working for yourself is possible managing the

bussines

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business

in your way and building a staff,

for example

, with your own priorities.

Moreover

, the gain of

eriching

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enriching

experiences in

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apply

show examples

various sectors

also

there is no pressure from anyone to do the job in a certain method or at a specific time.

On the other hand

, it is remarkable that in

this

case you must

work

harder and be

responsable

Correct your spelling

responsible

so everything can be done,

must

Correct word choice

and must

show examples

also

deal with any problems that may appear.

However

, I believe the

advantages

outweigh since you have more freedom

consequently

, you will be able to perform your duties with much more mastery and property. Along with

this

, it is really gratifying to see your idea come to life and put

into

Correct pronoun usage

it into

show examples

practice. In conclusion, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some disadvantages of being

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show examples

entrepenuir

Correct your spelling

entrepreneur

as harder

work

itself. Whereas the

advantages

stand out one time you have more freedom for running your

bussines

Correct your spelling

business

also

the independence and a feeling of gratitude Briefly the

advantages

of being an entrepreneur outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by ana_biafernandes on Fri Apr 29 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Experts say that if older people spend their time with others and exercise daily, they will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly people do not exercise and spend time alone. What are the reasons for this? How can this be resolved?

Your opinion

98.Many manufactured food and drinks products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Learning English is important. Do you agree or disagree?