IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era,Some people believe that money should be spent on renewable resources
such
Linking Words
 as wind and solar
instead
Linking Words
 of
oil
Use synonyms
 deposit search operations. I think that governments should account for environmental concerns from the usage of
oil
Use synonyms
 but should not ignore costs associated with new sources. Nowadays, numerous companies have promised to reduce their carbon footprints by adopting
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
cleaner sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 and promoting environment-friendly manufacturing.
For example
Linking Words
, Tesla, an automobile giant has reduced carbon emissions by 60% by using power generated through solar panels. It will not only help companies raise their environmental scores but
also
Linking Words
 the masses to live in healthy surroundings.
Therefore
Linking Words
, subsidies provided by authorities help support the use of solar and wind to produce clean
energy
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the shift from
oil
Use synonyms
 to
such
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 producers is expensive and requires a decent amount of time to build these resources.
For instance
Linking Words
, an analysis published by The Times of India states that the electricity generation process from sunlight or wind costs more than from
oil
Use synonyms
, eventually adding the price to goods and services. Even with the government subsidies usage of
such
Linking Words
 resources is still expensive.
Thus
Linking Words
, a search for
oil
Use synonyms
 deposits beneath the earth can help increase the
oil
Use synonyms
 supply resulting in lower prices.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the investments in eco-friendly sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 generation should be increased it should not affect the budget to explore new crude
oil
Use synonyms
 deposits. Supply of refined
oil
Use synonyms
 is necessary for innovation and development of
such
Linking Words
 products which can
then
Linking Words
 be used to lower carbon emissions
such
Linking Words
 as panels which use sunlight to produce electricity.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Ensure consistency in using articles ('a', 'the') correctly. For example, 'a healthy surroundings' should be 'a healthy environment' or just 'healthy surroundings'.
language
Work on improving sentence structure and avoiding minor grammatical errors, such as incorrect preposition usage and comma splices. This will make your writing more polished and effective.
task response
Provide a more balanced argument by addressing counterpoints and showing other angles of the discussion. This will help strengthen your essay's analytical depth.
task response
Elaborate on the last few points in your body paragraphs with more specific and relevant examples to fully substantiate your claims.
task response
The essay clearly addresses the task by discussing the importance of investing in renewable energy sources while acknowledging the current dependency on oil.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The essay includes relevant specific examples, such as Tesla's reduction in carbon emissions and data from The Times of India.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: