IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that schools are no longer necessary because people can acquire information on the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the advancement in technology in recent times, there's a load of
information
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 on the
internet
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 on various subjects.
This
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 has led people to believe school is no longer important since they can get the knowledge needed for a course from websites. I completely disagree with
this
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 notion, the significance of schooling can never be replaced, mainly because teachers are essential to explaining subjects,
in addition
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, not all the
information
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 on the
internet
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 is reliable. The main reason why I believe academies are still principal is the need for trained professionals to expatiate on specific details and
also
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, to encourage their students. Courses like medicine, law, engineering and so on, need on-site practice, the scope of these
programmes
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programs
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 simply cannot be learnt online. A medical student
for instance
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 may watch videos on how to perform an operation but will never be able to carry it out successfully without the guidance of a superior.
Furthermore
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, with online self-learning, there is no way to accurately assess the level of one's understanding of a topic through tests, homework and exams.
This
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 is something only educators can do.
Besides
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, when a scholar feels discouraged to continue learning, a lecturer would know better how to inspire them.  Another reason the
internet
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 cannot be exchanged for educational institutions is that
information
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 online is not trustworthy. With the open-access nature of cyberspace, anyone can post anything without confirming the source or credibility.
This
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,
consequently
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, could be misleading.
For example
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, the history of a certain person or place online could contain fabrications intended to discredit or honour.
Moreover
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, there is not enough depth to the
information
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 on websites, unless it is posted by institutions themselves. One can simply not acquire enough knowledge needed to succeed in a career by reading random blogs. In conclusion, there may be a lot of
information
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 on the
internet
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 but
this
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 can never be a substitute for learning centres as the role of lecturers
are
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is
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 crucial and the
internet
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 is not a dependable source.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the main argument and supports it effectively. Work on providing a more structured approach to your essay
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task and provided relevant arguments. Make sure to elaborate more on your points and provide additional examples to strengthen your arguments.
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