IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a major problem. What are the causes of this issue? what solution can you suggest to reduce traffic congestion?

#cities #world #traffic #congestion
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A large number of academic centres are providing courses that are being held on online platforms.
While
 there are some drawbacks associated with online education, I believe the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of
this
 subject may be the unreliable internet connection in some places.
Due to
 the fact that people in some countries do have not access to high-speed internet, they may face difficulties in online
classes
.
For instance
, during the covid when educational centres should hold
classes
 online,
as a result
 of the low-speed internet in Iran, many students could not participate in their
classes
 easily. Another perceived negative is misunderstanding some subjects. Many lessons in schools or lots of fields in universities need practical training.
however
, it is almost impossible to hold these subjects online and if these subjects were organized online, they could go unnoticed.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of online courses is
easy
Correct article usage
the easy
show examples
 approach to them. Numerous learners especially in remote areas or small towns or even in third-world countries are deprived of access to proper education.
Nonetheless
,
this
 method provides an effective situation in order for students to benefit from equal opportunities. Nowadays a vast number of online programs are organized by well-known institutes all over the world.
Therefore
, everyone from everywhere can utilize them. A
further
 major positive is decreasing traffic congestion in urban areas. Since students who travel by vehicle in cities are a big group of citizens that cause gridlock at specific times of the day, changing some in-person courses to online
classes
, certainly has a positive effect on movement problems. On balance, it is true that online education would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of
convenient
Correct article usage
a convenient
show examples
 approach to suitable programs and solving traffic issues override the disadvantages.
Submitted by solmazahmadi.72 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Make sure to use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to further improve coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that each example provided directly strengthens the arguments being made.
coherence
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Main points are thoroughly supported with specific examples, such as the internet speed issue in Iran.
task achievement
Successfully addresses both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: