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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries , a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country , but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level .Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #governments #level
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In many countries , a small number of
people
Use synonyms
(communities, populations, societies) earn (an) extremely high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
(
fee
Use synonyms
, pay, earning). Some
people
Use synonyms
(community
population
Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
) believe that
this
Linking Words
 is good for the
country
Use synonyms
(agrarian, bucolic, homey) , but others think that
governments
Use synonyms
 should not allow
salaries
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(
fee
Use synonyms
, pay,
earnings
Use synonyms
) above a certain level. Only a small portion of
people
Use synonyms
(community
population
Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
) earn excessively high
salaries
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(
fee
Use synonyms
, pay,
earnings
Use synonyms
) in many countries. The most(most
yok
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) biggest impact of
this
Linking Words
 statement is increasing competition to grow up their
country
Use synonyms
. individuals who are staying back (in) the(the
yok
Use synonyms
)
this
Linking Words
 race, be jealous(kıskanç) to(of) (a) productive
people
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(community
population
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society
Use synonyms
) but if the
governments
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 don’t allow a highly(high)
salaries
Use synonyms
(
fee
Use synonyms
, pay,
earnings
Use synonyms
) , (the) criminal event(s) will be able to decrease because of equal
people
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. With an
increasing
Add a comma
,increasing
show examples
 the
salaries
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(
fee
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, pay,
earnings
Use synonyms
) of some
people
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(
communityies
Correct your spelling
communities
population
Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
), everybody try(tries) to find innumerable new resources to be rich which impacts of(of
yok
Use synonyms
) human lives positively and they not only become rich and
also
Linking Words
 become their
country
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, America has 250 million individuals maybe even more, but only a small portion of
people
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 is intelligent, just 10 million. if we move to
this
Linking Words
(these)
people
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 to another
country
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, the new America will be. because their contribution(katkı) is (the) explicit benefit of(to) the
country
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.In return for
this
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(Bunun
karşılığında)
Add a comma
,karşılığında)
show examples
 they just want to(to
yok
Use synonyms
)
money
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(a bill) to increase (their) quality of life.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 many
people
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(societies) think(s) that the(the
yok
Use synonyms
)
governments
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 (politics) should not allow
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 (to be
yok
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) the
ultra rich
Add a hyphen
ultra-rich
show examples
(ultra-rich) humans. I partly agree with
this
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 statement because there are many advantages
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
(to)
this
Linking Words
 opinion. Maybe the
governments
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 who(that) look(s) like(like
yok
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)
a
Change the article
an
show examples
(a
yok
Use synonyms
) powerless can receive the bribe(rüşvet) so the criminals will be able to get comfortable. The most impact of(of
yok
Use synonyms
) way to obstruct(engellemek) for(for
yok
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)
this
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 issue is given(to give) (the) same
money
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 to everyone. In conclusion, the(the
yok
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)
money
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 is very important for lots of
people
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(communities populations
society
Use synonyms
) because everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
(s) to
good
Add an article
the good
a good
show examples
 life. only one way to gain is (the) added value(
katma
Correct your spelling
karma
kama
 değer).
Although
Linking Words
 most
people
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 want everyone to be equal,
money
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 is necessary to go more(more
yok
Use synonyms
)
further
Linking Words
Submitted by ozbekibrahimcan on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • incentivize
  • discrepancy
  • inequality
  • social cohesion
  • equitable distribution
  • wealth concentration
  • talent retention
  • global competitiveness
  • social unrest
  • innovate
  • government intervention
  • salary cap
What to do next:
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