In many countries , a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country , but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level .Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries , a small number of
people
(communities, populations, societies) earn (an) extremely high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
(
fee
, pay, earning). Some
people
(community
population
society
) believe that
this
is good for the
country
(agrarian, bucolic, homey) , but others think that
governments
should not allow
salaries
(
fee
, pay,
earnings
) above a certain level. Only a small portion of
people
(community
population
society
) earn excessively high
salaries
(
fee
, pay,
earnings
) in many countries. The most(most
yok
) biggest impact of
this
statement is increasing competition to grow up their
country
. individuals who are staying back (in) the(the
yok
)
this
race, be jealous(kıskanç) to(of) (a) productive
people
(community
population
society
) but if the
governments
don’t allow a highly(high)
salaries
(
fee
, pay,
earnings
) , (the) criminal event(s) will be able to decrease because of equal
people
. With an
increasing
Add a comma
,increasing
show examples
the
salaries
(
fee
, pay,
earnings
) of some
people
(
communityies
Correct your spelling
communities
population
society
), everybody try(tries) to find innumerable new resources to be rich which impacts of(of
yok
) human lives positively and they not only become rich and
also
become their
country
.
For instance
, America has 250 million individuals maybe even more, but only a small portion of
people
is intelligent, just 10 million. if we move to
this
(these)
people
to another
country
, the new America will be. because their contribution(katkı) is (the) explicit benefit of(to) the
country
.In return for
this
(Bunun
karşılığında)
Add a comma
,karşılığında)
show examples
they just want to(to
yok
)
money
(a bill) to increase (their) quality of life.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
many
people
(societies) think(s) that the(the
yok
)
governments
(politics) should not allow
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
(to be
yok
) the
ultra rich
Add a hyphen
ultra-rich
show examples
(ultra-rich) humans. I partly agree with
this
statement because there are many advantages
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
(to)
this
opinion. Maybe the
governments
who(that) look(s) like(like
yok
)
a
Change the article
an
show examples
(a
yok
) powerless can receive the bribe(rüşvet) so the criminals will be able to get comfortable. The most impact of(of
yok
) way to obstruct(engellemek) for(for
yok
)
this
issue is given(to give) (the) same
money
to everyone. In conclusion, the(the
yok
)
money
is very important for lots of
people
(communities populations
society
) because everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
(s) to
good
Add an article
the good
a good
show examples
life. only one way to gain is (the) added value(
katma
Correct your spelling
karma
kama
değer).
Although
most
people
want everyone to be equal,
money
is necessary to go more(more
yok
)
further
Submitted by ozbekibrahimcan on

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Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • incentivize
  • discrepancy
  • inequality
  • social cohesion
  • equitable distribution
  • wealth concentration
  • talent retention
  • global competitiveness
  • social unrest
  • innovate
  • government intervention
  • salary cap
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