There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

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Introduction

The population is ageing and

this

Linking Words

has raised the awareness of many authorities about a potential danger to their societies. Undoubtedly the

number

Use synonyms

of elders who live longer has been growing in all regions.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could be a good sign of improved healthcare, society is suffering from its consequences.

Body paragraph 1

Prolonged life expectancy means that a successful healthcare system is in place, which is a sign of development. Medical advancements have reduced the

number

Use synonyms

of diseases that are the main causes of death.

For instance

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, today many new drugs and therapies are available to treat cancer.

Besides

Linking Words

, financial and social security have resulted in better mental health, so there will be fewer mental disorders.

Such

Linking Words

phycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

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disorders that can reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life expectancy.

Body paragraph 2

However

Linking Words

, there are some negative impacts on society if there

will

Verb problem

show examples

be large

number

Use synonyms

of elders living in a country.

This

Linking Words

means there will be scarce availability of workforce, because, it is the young generation that accounts for the majority of workers, and not the elderly.

Likewise

Linking Words

, Europe which has most of its population allocated to

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

has been employing youngsters from other countries.

In addition

Linking Words

, old people are fragile and usually need to be taken care of by youngsters.

For example

Linking Words

, a big demand for nurses will be required to care

Change preposition

for

show examples

them.

Conclusion

In conclusion, a huge

number

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of old people is a sign of medical advancements,

however

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, it means that the country is dealing with a lack of workforce. In my opinion, the

states'

Correct your spelling

state's

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power must take action to prevent

this

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from happening else it will cause irreversible changes to society. Many countries will be facing

such

Linking Words

situation

Correct article usage

a situation

show examples

in the near future, so they must act now.

amirreza.alise

Apr 29, 2022

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task achievement

To improve the task response, ensure your examples are specific and directly support your points. For instance, naming specific countries or studies can add credibility and clarity.

coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, use more linking phrases to strengthen the flow between paragraphs. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively sets up the essay's topic and presents a clear stance, which is well maintained throughout the essay.

supported main points

The essay uses relevant arguments to discuss both the positive and negative effects of an aging population.

logical structure

The logical structure of the essay is sound, with clear paragraphs addressing separate points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

The environmental problems facing today’s world are so significant that few ordinary people can improve this situation. The government and large companies should reduce the amount of damage to the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think children should start school at a very early age, while others believe they should begin later.

robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. why is this happening do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Some Chinese citizens think that Xing Jinping is secretly enjoying his romantic life with his opponent, known as Donald Trump. Why does this happen? Is this positive or negative?