Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #sports #stars #development

In today’s modern society, many young

people

tend to admire famous athletes,

although

there are a lot of nasty

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

show examples

about them.

However

, I think the admiration for the celebrities will bring their fans good value.

First

of all, sports stars are

people

who get over many difficulties in their life to achieve success.

Therefore

, their fans can look at them and do what they do.

For example

, Muhamad Ali is a famous boxer who

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

show examples

a skill

thousand

Correct article usage

a thousand

show examples

times to become one of the best fighters in the world, and many

people

who love boxing have followed him to practice and improve their skills.

Furthermore

, suitable activities

such

as volunteer works of famous sports stars can impact their fans.

In addition

, well-known athletes can encourage the

people

who admire them for doing good deeds for society.

For example

, as we all know, Cristiano Ronaldo is the greatest footballer of all time, and he is the athlete with the most volunteer activities in recent years. For that reason, many

people

have participated in Ronaldo’s volunteer campaigns to help

people

in need. In conclusion, there are a lot of bad

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

show examples

and scandals about sports celebrities. But they are still good

people

and think of community, so they deserve to be admired.

Submitted by tnguyen010096 on Sat Apr 30 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

211 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

admire
role model
excellence
hard work
dedication
cheating
misconduct
critical evaluation
guidance
positive influence
negative influence
inspiration

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Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Word Count

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