IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe the mass media have too much influence over people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As communications technology improves, there is no doubt that
mass
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media
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 like television, radio and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 have an increasing
influence
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 on the lives of everybody. Some
people
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 think
this
Linking Words
influence
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 is positive as it allows freedom of choice, but many
people
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 worry that
this
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 situation has a negative impact on society. I strongly agree with the second opinion and will discuss below the reasons why. There are several key reasons why the
influence
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 of
mass
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media
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 is negative. The first reason is political; the owners of newspapers, television stations, etc. are very rich and powerful and only give news and opinions which support their political
view
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views
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. I believe
this
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 can be very dangerous for
people
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’s freedom because different opinions are not discussed and we receive only one side of an argument. The second main problem is that
mass
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media
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destroy
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
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 creativity. It is a fact that everybody wants to copy what is fashionable, but if only one view of the world is presented in the
media
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, there is no room for different cultures and ideas.
This
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 leads to a
further
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 problem in that we may lose independent thought which could lead to a society full of
people
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 who behave like robots.
Therefore
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, in my opinion, the world
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 a much more boring place. Some
people
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 will argue that the
influence
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 of
mass
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media
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 is positive because
people
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 obviously feel good sharing the same experience with millions of others. It is my belief,
however
Linking Words
, that the negative aspects are much greater than the positive because if everybody does and thinks the same thing, all the richness and variety of life will be lost.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and that all the sentences in the paragraph support that idea.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
In the introduction, briefly state why you agree or disagree, which can help set the stage for your points. Also, include a concise conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion and present the reasons for your viewpoint, which shows good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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