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Writing Samples
Band 6

Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for the health. The government must find a way to reduce this type of stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People nowadays are indulging more time in their jobs in which they do not know the consequences it may give on their well being.
Thus
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, in
this
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 situation where their mental and physical well being might be affected
to
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by
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 overdue duties, the public officials are summoned to give solutions to
this
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 arising problem.
This
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 essay will discuss how public administration can help in lowering
stress
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 in
employees
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 mostly involved in prolonged duty
hours
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. Companies nowadays are more concerned with their status rather than the health status of their
employees
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. Other requires rendering duty more than the required duty
hours
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 per day.
This
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 is the reason why some
employees
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 are dealing with
stress
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 and other health conditions. Our body is not a robot, it
also
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 needs to rest in order to fully function the
next
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 day.
However
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, some employers abused their
employees
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 by compensating them more.
As a result
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, due to money matters,
employees
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 usually take the challenge.
This
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 happens mostly in the government companies, I myself can witness that. Government offices here in the Philippines are open only during weekdays but if the demand is higher, weekend duties are possible. During
this
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 situation,
employees
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 have no more time to relax or to be with their families.
Therefore
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, I absolutely agree that the public administration has a big responsibility in helping to cope with
stress
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 in its
employees
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.
In addition
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, aside from
stress
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, it can
also
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 contribute bad effects on our bodies. One is sleep deprivation. Some will still continue working in their houses which will, later on, lead to shortening sleep. According to a study, lack of sleep
also
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 has a negative impact on our bodies. To conclude, employers must find some solutions to lessen the workload of their people,
thus
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, giving them the right to spend time with themselves and their families. In conclusion,
this
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 essay discussed that working past late
hours
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 causes us to have
stress
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 which later on contributes to our well being.
Thus
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, in my ,opinion I absolutely agree with the statement that the public agencies must have alternative answers to these issues since they are
also
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 linked to working long
hours
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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