Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society, so they should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been argued that professional workers,
such
Linking Words
as
doctors
Use synonyms
,
nurses
Use synonyms
and
teachers
Use synonyms
, have a massive contribution to society, so they should earn more salaries than people in sports and entertainment.
This
Linking Words
essay attempts to shed light on two main reasons why I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
view.
To begin
Linking Words
with, thanks to the contributions made
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
education and healthcare services, those in the aforementioned jobs should be paid more.
For example
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
teach their students a variety of subjects at school in order to help them gain knowledge.
This
Linking Words
will lead to an increase in opportunities to apply for a better job in their future careers and become people who are useful to society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, healthcare providers
also
Linking Words
devote a lot to helping citizens ease their illnesses.
For instance
Linking Words
,
doctors
Use synonyms
and
nurses
Use synonyms
play a significant role in treating athletes with some injuries that they may encounter.
Secondly
Linking Words
, professional workers require deep knowledge about their jobs and high responsibilities.
This
Linking Words
is because they are not allowed to make any mistakes in curing patients or teaching learners. Indeed, students have to spend various years at their universities so that they can become
nurses
Use synonyms
or
doctors
Use synonyms
, and they must work as interns for 4 years before becoming healthcare providers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, surgeons have to stand for numerous hours to perform surgery on their patients, which not only requires meticulousness but
also
Linking Words
their endurance
while
Linking Words
working. To talk about
teachers
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are a type of worker who has to ensure the understanding of their students and the correctness of the knowledge they impart. In conclusion, it is undeniable that professional workers
such
Linking Words
as
doctors
Use synonyms
,
nurses
Use synonyms
and
teachers
Use synonyms
can provide many positive contributions to society that I mentioned. So I totally support
this
Linking Words
view.
Submitted by weezel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the task effectively and provides clear arguments, make sure to elaborate more on specific examples or data to further strengthen the points. For instance, providing statistics or reports can make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, without abrupt transitions. Adding transitional phrases can also help in guiding the reader more effectively through your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with relevant examples that are directly tied to the argument.
task achievement
The essay responds comprehensively to the task and presents clear and coherent ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: