Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society, so they should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been argued that professional workers,
such
as doctors
, nurses
and teachers
, have a massive contribution to society, so they should earn more salaries than people in sports and entertainment. This
essay attempts to shed light on two main reasons why I totally agree with this
view.
To begin
with, thanks to the contributions made in
education and healthcare services, those in the aforementioned jobs should be paid more. Change preposition
to
For example
, teachers
teach their students a variety of subjects at school in order to help them gain knowledge. This
will lead to an increase in opportunities to apply for a better job in their future careers and become people who are useful to society. Furthermore
, healthcare providers also
devote a lot to helping citizens ease their illnesses. For instance
, doctors
and nurses
play a significant role in treating athletes with some injuries that they may encounter.
Secondly
, professional workers require deep knowledge about their jobs and high responsibilities. This
is because they are not allowed to make any mistakes in curing patients or teaching learners. Indeed, students have to spend various years at their universities so that they can become nurses
or doctors
, and they must work as interns for 4 years before becoming healthcare providers. Furthermore
, surgeons have to stand for numerous hours to perform surgery on their patients, which not only requires meticulousness but also
their endurance while
working. To talk about teachers
, they
are a type of worker who has to ensure the understanding of their students and the correctness of the knowledge they impart.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that professional workers Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as doctors
, nurses
and teachers
can provide many positive contributions to society that I mentioned. So I totally support this
view.Submitted by weezel on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task effectively and provides clear arguments, make sure to elaborate more on specific examples or data to further strengthen the points. For instance, providing statistics or reports can make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, without abrupt transitions. Adding transitional phrases can also help in guiding the reader more effectively through your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with relevant examples that are directly tied to the argument.
task achievement
The essay responds comprehensively to the task and presents clear and coherent ideas.
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