IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
In recent years, the idea that the extinction of some animals and plants is the main cause of environmental troubles remains a source of controversy (Bạn nhớ thêm vị ngữ của câu).
Although
 the absence of some wild
species
 may lead to several potential adverse effects, I believe other elements are more serious. On the one hand, the disappearance of several animals and plants leaves some possible threats, including the natural food chain and creature diversity.
First
, every single creature carries its own purpose in
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 chain of food;
hence
, the lack of one or more
species
 would lead to the extinction of other animals or plants.
For example
, over-hunting actions of humans that happen to tigers would make the number of rapids rabbits increase remarkably, leading to the inadequacy of grass and carrots in the region.
Second
, a nation which has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 diversity of
species
 would have numerous benefits in providing materials for education. Authentic objects with primitive eyes,
instead
 of watching photos and videos in the classroom, will leave a deep impression on students.
On the other hand
, I would argue that wild
species
' absences are not as severe as they are in reality. In fact, some extinctions had happened which did not affect nature.
For instance
, the absence of mammoths at the beginning of the XXI century leaves us→
inhabitants
Add the comma(s)
, inhabitants,
show examples
 with no dangerous influences till now.
In contrast
, in some outskirts zones, factories discharge untreated sewage into rivers and people dump domestic waste deliberately in uncontrolled landfills, leading to the massive die out of aquatic creatures and the lack of living places for various
species
. In conclusion, though the extinction of some
species
 would bring some demerits, I advocate that nature is suffering from other factors which are more substantial.
Submitted by khanh3802 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: