IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The population of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 getting
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 day by day, while it decreases the accessibility of food which is related to population. To provide food to the
people
Use synonyms
 especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in, developing or poor countries, the government should find new solutions
such
Linking Words
 as consuming edible
insects
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some may not prefer
this
Linking Words
 consumption, due to its taste or the health effect on a
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 body. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will consider both advantages and disadvantages of consuming
insects
Use synonyms
. The two main advantages of eating
insects
Use synonyms
 are it feeds
people
Use synonyms
 easily and it
also
Linking Words
 allows
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 in
gastronomy
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the gastronomy
show examples
 sector.
Firstly
Linking Words
, changing
the
Change the word
your
show examples
 eating habits may be
though
Correct your spelling
tough
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 in order to just fill your stomach.
However
Linking Words
, in the long
term
Add a comma
,term
show examples
 it will save many
people
Use synonyms
dying
Change preposition
from dying
show examples
 from starvation
also
Linking Words
 even
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
 taste is not good it includes
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of protein and in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular
consumption
Add a comma
,consumption
show examples
 it can be healthy
also
Linking Words
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, after the consumption of bites
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
 widespread, some entrepreneurs would get
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
this
Linking Words
 sector, and it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 recruitment opportunity.
For example
Linking Words
, opening a factory in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 poorer country can be
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
 and poorness.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 habit comes with
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 bad sides. The major drawback can be separated
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two main parts, the psychological
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
 of consuming edible
insects
Use synonyms
, and
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
 results
after
Change preposition
of
show examples
 consuming these creatures recklessly.
People
Use synonyms
 have eating habits since we choose settled life. And except
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
cultures
Add a comma
,cultures
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the races would not choose consuming
insects
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if it becomes compulsory to survive some
people
Use synonyms
 may think it is not
humanistic
Add an article
a humanistic
show examples
 and
adverse
Correct article usage
the adverse
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 start to observe.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should be careful about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how it must be consumed. They should make various research to conclude arguments about the unhealthiness of these
insects
Use synonyms
. Without research and
information
Add a comma
,information
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 may suffer from consuming
this
Linking Words
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a habit of eating
insects
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 so many positive
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and it is still not considered
issue
Add an article
the issue
an issue
show examples
. It involves many risks right now but it can
be change
Change the verb form
be changed
show examples
 after enough research and circumstances. For a now, I wouldn’t prefer to consume these
insects
Use synonyms
 but if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 informed me about what kind of benefit it is, my opinion might be
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • food scarcity
  • edible insects
  • nutritional benefits
  • cultural barriers
  • psychological barriers
  • mainstream food source
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmentally sustainable
  • economic benefits
  • local farmers
  • health safety
  • allergies
  • pesticides
  • pollutants
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • regulations
  • hygiene
  • unforeseen consequences
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