IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

An annual event was recently held in your area. Now you want to write to the organizers of this event congratulating them on a successful production. Write a letter to the organizers. In your letter, give - • the details of the event • what you most liked about the event • a polite criticism of something you thought could be improved

Dear sir/ madam My name is Sulochana. I am a member Kalibari community. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to congratulate you on the successful
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
 of the Bengali
new year
Fix capitalization
New Year
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 held recently in our community. I am pretty sure that other members of our community would
also
Linking Words
 feel the same way. Anyway,
this
Linking Words
 festival takes place in our area every year, but
this
Linking Words
 probably is the first time in its history that you managed to attract so many people, not only from our own city but
also
Linking Words
 from many other communities.
Besides
Linking Words
, you made all arrangements flawlessly
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 the
sitting
Use the right word
seating
show examples
 arrangements and music system
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was clear and audible to every single person.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, coming to the meal, the most sophisticated part of the occasion, you handled it perfectly.
However
Linking Words
,
We
Fix capitalization
we
show examples
 were a little concerned about the lighting system
it
Punctuation problem
; it
show examples
 could have been better if you had someone to check it
while
Linking Words
 the program went on.
Overall
Linking Words
, the event went extremely well. Once again
many
Punctuation problem
, many
show examples
 congratulations for conducting
such
Linking Words
 a great occasion at our venue.  We look forward to selecting you as our
even
Use the right word
event
show examples
 organiser once again. Yours faithfully, Sulochana.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Put each idea in a new part. Right now you mix details and praise in one part.
grammar
Fix small grammar and mark only past events with was/were. Use 'Dear Sir or Madam' and 'Yours faithfully' in a formal way.
structure
Keep to one main idea in each part. This makes your letter easy to read.
tone
Polite and kind tone throughout.
content
It covers the event, what you liked, and a small suggestion.
form
Ends well with a clear closing.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • event
  • held
  • last
  • month
  • town
  • hall
  • market
  • show
  • acts
  • talks
  • visitors
  • staff
  • helpers
  • schedule
  • on time
  • clear
  • friendly
  • safe
  • good
  • variety
  • ages
  • signs
  • readable
  • seats
  • shade
  • queues
  • long
  • sound
  • food
  • drink
  • chairs
  • parking
  • thanks
  • thank
  • you
  • well
  • done
  • next
  • year
  • best
  • wishes
  • yours
  • sincerely
What to do next:
Look at other essays: