Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems human beings. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#species #world #people #countries #individuals #animals #beings

A lot of different animal breeds existing on the globe are going into extinction in recent times.while quite a number of individuals are of the opinion that these creatures should be guarded to prevent death ,others are of better ideas about concentrating on issues related to the human race. In my opinion,dealing with issues of mankind is of better importance than treating problems of an animal disappearing from the surface of the earth.

First

and foremost , Human health is more valuable than that of an Animal

therefore

,ideas of keeping these animals alive shouldn't be prior to that of a human being.

This

means that keeping someone alive is of better importance because in other to make the world we exist in a better place,a healthy human being's contribution is required.

For example

, if 60% of

lives

are lost annually,the remaining percentage of people living in the world will find it strenuous in carrying out different tasks as time goes by.

In addition

to that, there will be limited procreation which is an important factor in the globe we live in.

However

this

can cause

loss

Correct article usage

a loss

show examples

of purpose

Change preposition

show examples

life. Diverting

much needed

Add a hyphen

much-needed

show examples

attention for the betterment of human

lives

to that of any other living thing would cause us

humans

Add the comma(s)

, humans,

show examples

Replace the word

lose

show examples

loose

Correct your spelling

lose

show examples

our purpose in life eventually.

For instance

loss

Correct article usage

the loss

show examples

of human

lives

can lead to reduced procreation. When

this

occurs,in the long

run

Add the comma(s)

,run

show examples

Replace the word

lose

show examples

loose

Correct your spelling

lose

show examples

our importance in the ecosystem.

Also

, it's important to take care of these animals just for the fact that we human beings depend on some animal nutrients for a better living . In conclusion,even if the

lives

of various animal breeds are at risk and should be taken care of properly, it is

also

important to remember that of the human species as well for better evolution of the world in general.

Submitted by dumebiugwu1999 on Mon May 02 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
cascading effects
economic impacts
ecosystem
endangered species
environmental conservation
human welfare
moral duty
preserve
sustainable practices
habitats
interconnected
extinction
advocates
opponents
priority

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Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems human beings. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

In some countries, owning a homes rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer language in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with opinion?