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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems human beings. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#species #world #people #countries #individuals #animals #beings
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A lot of different animal breeds existing on the globe are going into extinction in recent times.while quite a number of individuals are of the opinion that these creatures should be guarded to prevent death ,others are of better ideas about concentrating on issues related to the human race. In my opinion,dealing with issues of mankind is of better importance than treating problems of an animal disappearing from the surface of the earth.
First
 and foremost , Human health is more valuable than that of an Animal
therefore
,ideas of keeping these animals alive shouldn't be prior to that of a human being.
This
 means that keeping someone alive is of better importance because in other to make the world we exist in a better place,a healthy human being's contribution is required.
For example
, if 60% of
lives
 are lost annually,the remaining percentage of people living in the world will find it strenuous in carrying out different tasks as time goes by.
In addition
 to that, there will be limited procreation which is an important factor in the globe we live in.
However
,
this
 can cause
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of purpose
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life. Diverting
much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
show examples
 attention for the betterment of human
lives
 to that of any other living thing would cause us
humans
Add the comma(s)
, humans,
show examples
 to
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 our purpose in life eventually.
For instance
,
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of human
lives
 can lead to reduced procreation. When
this
 occurs,in the long
run
Add the comma(s)
,run
show examples
 we
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 our importance in the ecosystem.
Also
 , it's important to take care of these animals just for the fact that we human beings depend on some animal nutrients for a better living . In conclusion,even if the
lives
 of various animal breeds are at risk and should be taken care of properly, it is
also
 important to remember that of the human species as well for better evolution of the world in general.
Submitted by dumebiugwu1999 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • cascading effects
  • economic impacts
  • ecosystem
  • endangered species
  • environmental conservation
  • human welfare
  • moral duty
  • preserve
  • sustainable practices
  • habitats
  • interconnected
  • extinction
  • advocates
  • opponents
  • priority
What to do next:
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