IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#weddings #reason #development
Nowadays
people
 spend plenty of
money
 to have a wonderful wedding. Since these ceremonies are so special among
people
, and they do want a wedding without any problems and
also
 incredible.
This
 popularity of big weddings brings negative impacts
among
Change preposition
on
show examples
couples
 which I discuss in
this
 essay. As
couples
 want a wedding to be held without trouble, which
also
 gives guests many services they go for pricy weddings. As long as
couples
 expected to have a memorable wedding, they should pay for an expensive event planner who manages their ceremony with better services
such
 as various food, suitable songs, and a lovely atmosphere.
Moreover
, an outstanding ceremony can receive many compliments from relatives and friends. They might talk about that, in every
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
, and review the precise moments they had,
consequently
,
new
Change the adjective
newly
show examples
 married
couples
 and their parents,
in particular
, will be satisfied.
Although
 a luxurious wedding that costs considerably would be amusing, they turn to competition among families and friends. Sometimes
people
 spend even more than their income by borrowing
money
 from others to have an unforgettable wedding, and could not turn the
money
 back at a suitable time.
Nevertheless
, they can have a beautiful wedding corresponded to their wealth.
In addition
, attending and seeing costly wedding has been raised everyone's expectation which
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
 them substantially to have big parties; they forget that saving
money
 to have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future for their life is more important than just a day. In conclusion, to have a perfect and memorable wedding is so important for many
people
 which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in competition among family or friends, or spend more amount of
money
.
Submitted by kimiasphri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish
  • extravagant
  • nuptials
  • matrimony
  • social status
  • opulence
  • milestone
  • financial leverage
  • debt
  • peer pressure
  • consumerism
  • showcase event
  • ceremonial splendor
  • bridal extravaganza
  • market forces
  • commercialization
  • budgeting
  • social comparison
  • destinal wedding
  • event planning
  • wedding vendors
  • loan
  • prestige
  • economic impact
  • mandatory spending
What to do next:
Look at other essays: