IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

#people #difference #children #adults #events #experiences #ceremonies #person #adult
The group of individuals knows about the difference between children and adults, but one of the questions is
that
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; what kind of events and experiences make children become mature?
However
, from my everyday experience and observation, I can stand three major events that make a
person
 mature. The
first
 pillar of
this
 event that makes a
person
 mature is getting a job. If a
person
 earns
money
 by themselves, they will not spend
money
 on redundant things, because they know the value of
money
 and
also
 know that many difficulties have
to
Fix the infinitive
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challenge for earn
money
. In
this
 way, a job provides a major contribution to making a mature
person
.
Education
 is the
second
 event in regard to maturity. According to my opinion,
education
 not only teaches about how to crack the exam but
also
 teaches life lessons.
For example
,
education
 teaches to
person
, how to respect older people, and how to stay people
with
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happily. These things are beneficial to being an honoured
person
.
Finally
, I believe that responsibilities are considered
as
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a great sign of a mature
person
.
Although
 he has in a difficult situation, he is not run away from his responsibilities.
In addition
, he does not pass comments on other people based on their character. To conclude, it can be commented that,
however
, there are many things that are considered as being a mature
person
, but above mentioned three events
such
 as Job,
Education
, and Responsibilities, which enough to prove a mature
person
 and his maturity.
Submitted by pateldinesh28041998 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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