Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often believed that the authorities ought to implement rules and regulations so that environmental pollution and housing problems can be reduced, which might result in the prevention of illness and disease. I vehemently
accord
Verb problem
agree
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with the given statement and in
this
essay will discuss the reasons behind my agreement.
To begin
with,
Pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
Pollution
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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responsible for a number of diseases nowadays. To elucidate
further
, these are responsible not only for life-threatening illnesses,
such
as cancer but
also
for reducing average life expectancy.
For instance
, an article
publish
Wrong verb form
published
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by - The Times - in the UK in 2015, revealed that the number of cancer patients is a whopping 65% higher than it was before 2010.
Therefore
, it is undeniable that governments should play an essential role in order to decrease the emission of greenhouse gases. Is there any other reason behind my agreement ? Certainly, there is. In terms of the prevention of illness and disease, governments should make an effort to diminish housing problems as these are responsible for a higher rate of illness. To decipher
this
, these may lead to the building of myriad slums
thus
the environment and water will be polluted which will produce viruses of different kinds of diseases, resulting in a Large number of sick people.
for example
, most mosquito-borne diseases are directly or indirectly linked to slums as they are responsible for creating a favourable environment for them.
Hence
, the authorities should take effective measures in terms of curbing
this
growing trend. In conclusion, In spite of
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the fact that there are several other reasons for the growing figure of sick masses, pollution and housing problems are the most prominent ones because they are responsible for a plethora of sicknesses.
Nevertheless
, the government should take necessary steps in order to reduce pollution
as well as
build houses to provide accommodation to people who live in slums and streets.
Submitted by md2020 on

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task response
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents some relevant points. However, there is a lack of coherence and cohesion in the overall structure and the examples provided are not very specific or impactful.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks coherence and cohesion in the logical structure of the arguments. The flow of ideas is not smooth and the connection between sentences and paragraphs needs improvement.
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