Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Profession plays a pivotal role in the earning of an individual. An eminent sportsman can earn an abundance of money compared to the various other vital occupations. It predisposes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversies where a number of people agree with it
whereas
others
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
it as not fair. I believe that sportspeople achieve
success
in their
career
through herculean efforts and they deserve to earn more. Numerous occupations compared to
sports
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a significant role in the sake of humanity. Though working hard from dawn to dusk for the betterment of the world, they still earn less salary. Scientists,
for example
, in the search for life on different planets put tremendous efforts into the research and implementation, even though their wages are not high.
Hence
, the government has to think of
such
a profession that brings change to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lives and pays a considerable amount to them based on their work.
However
, an individual who belongs to the
sports
background justifies their high deal income for two reasons.
Firstly
, they made sweaty efforts to reach the throne of
success
. They put their
career
at high risk by selecting
sports
against any educational courses.
For instance
, if they fail as a sportsperson, they do not have any other options to earn money.
Secondly
, unlike other professions, the span of their earnings is very short. At a certain age, they would not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to give
performance
Correct article usage
a performance
show examples
and with all
success
, they may lose their
career
.
Therefore
, a famous sportsman deserves a well-figure pay scale during their
career
. In conclusion, there are various other occupations that are vital for a better future and still have their wages lower than the profession like
sports
where successful sportspeople can make more money. In my opinion, by risking their
career
and working hard to achieve
success
, they justify what they earn.
Submitted by hvyas on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but can be strengthened by providing a clearer thesis statement and summarizing the key points.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and elaborate on them to provide a deeper insight into your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both views (for and against) in more depth and providing balanced arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
What to do next:
Look at other essays: