IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people believe that scientific research should be hold and controlled by the government instead of allowing private companies. to what extend do u agree or disagree?

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There is an ongoing debate about whether scientific studies should be managed solely by the
government
Use synonyms
 or if private sectors should be permitted to conduct
research
Use synonyms
 independently. In my view, a balanced approach where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 oversight and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
research
Use synonyms
 are permitted is the most effective. The following paragraphs will explore both perspectives.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, scientific
research
Use synonyms
 facilities should primarily be overseen by the
government
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because unauthorized facilities may engage in risky or illegal activities without the acknowledgement of the authorities.
For instance
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, some sectors
initially
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 registered as
research
Use synonyms
 facilities,
then
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additionally
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 discovered to be producing and distributing illegal substances.
Therefore
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, it is essential that the
government
Use synonyms
 regulate these spaces to ensure compliance with national laws and public safety.
On the other hand
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,
although
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government
Use synonyms
 oversight is important,
scientists
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 often feel pressured under constant supervision, which can hinder their productivity.
Additionally
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, many
scientists
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 prefer to work in quiet, independent environments to maintain focus.
For example
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, a study at Oxford
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 found that researchers' performance significantly decreased when they were closely monitored.
As a result
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, allowing
scientists
Use synonyms
 to conduct
research
Use synonyms
 in private areas can create a more productive and comfortable atmosphere. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 it is essential for
scientists
Use synonyms
 to have some independence in their work,
government
Use synonyms
 oversight remains crucial to ensure safety and adherence to national regulations. Ultimately, a balanced approach that combines freedom for researchers with periodic
monitor
Replace the word
monitoring
show examples
 by authorities can promote both innovation and public safety.

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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are balanced throughout the essay, as this will show a fair exploration of both sides of the debate. Try to delve deeper into the implications of each viewpoint to enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking phrases so that your paragraphs transition more smoothly from one to the next. This will help give your essay a more polished and naturally flowing structure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Each of your paragraphs addresses a specific point and is well-researched and supported by examples.
coherence cohesion
You have structured the essay logically with clear arguments for both sides of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • socially responsible outcomes
  • corporate profit
  • profit motives
  • fundamental areas
  • long-term societal development
  • innovative research outcomes
  • mixed approach
  • stifle innovation
  • bureaucratic processes
  • breakthrough projects
  • commercial gain
  • scientific progress
  • public access
  • government funding
  • private sector
  • public benefit
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