Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technologies #phones #interaction

It is generally

acknowloged

Correct your spelling

acknowledged

by certain individuals that the development of

technology

interferes with social communication. Regarding

this

, I strongly disagree with

this

assertion as

people

no longer have limits of time and place to have a conversation with others by using

technology

To begin

with, the Internet facilitates the public to interact with

people

who live far away in

this

globalized world since the boundaries became blurred. Students can make foreign friends without going abroad. What is more, overseas students can talk

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

families consistently.

For example

, a survey conducted by

Korea

Correct article usage

the Korea

show examples

Social Foundation

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

revealed that

almos

Correct your spelling

almost

20% of homesickness

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

reduced since messenger services

invented

Add a missing verb

were invented

show examples

. As the example clearly illustrates,

technology

plays a key factor in having

socical

Correct your spelling

social

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

Moreover

, various devices

such

as cell phones and laptops allow

people

to get feedback instantly. Teachers can provide homework through the Internet, and students can access their assignments frequently by using their electronic devices. Companies can make

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

virtual conferencing through various electronic gadgets remotely.

For instance

, during the Covid pandemic, if it had not been for cutting-edge

technology

, individuals would not have

interected

Correct your spelling

interacted

intersected

interested

with coworkers or peers.

Furthermore

, like-minded

people

can be gathered by

technology

. Not only can social media allow

people

post

Fix the infinitive

to post

show examples

what they think, but it may

also

contribute to having a

discuss

Replace the word

discussion

show examples

with comments and messages.

Hence

social

Add an article

the social

a social

show examples

network

Fix the agreement mistake

networks

show examples

can be made online by using

technology

. In conclusion, social interaction has not been disrupted by

technology

, but rather it has been enhanced owing to the development of cutting edge

technology

Submitted by hiasince38 on Tue May 03 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

256 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You bought a piece of furniture from a store in another town recently. there is a problem with the item you purchased. write a letter to the store manager. in your letter Explain the details of your purchase. Describe the problem that you have with it suggest what can be done about it

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking repoinsibility. What is your opinion?

Fast food is becoming part of life everywhere. This phenomenon affects people’s lifestyle and diet.Do you agree or disagree?

Childcare is important. Both parents should attend childcare courses To what extend do you agree or disagree ?