Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

A number of people argue that
video
games
can be used as a tool for education.
In contrast
, others, believe that
video
games
are negatively affecting those who play them. In my opinion, the benefits of
video
games
completely outweigh the cons.
This
is because
video
games
can give students a more entertaining way of learning and can
also
enhance students' knowledge of technology.
To begin
with,
video
games
can be used for both entertainment and educational purposes, giving learners a more interesting and fun way to learn.
For example
, teachers are now using a well-known game called Minecraft to teach students the anatomy of plants, by creating an interactive model of plants in the game.
Moreover
, playing
video
games
can help kids develop a common sense in terms of technology and make them accustomed to using the computer. From personal experience, I find that my peers who were allowed to play computer
games
as a child, find it much easier to do tasks which involve using a computer or any technological device.
However
, there is no doubt that
video
games
have their drawbacks. The most popular concerns amongst parents are addiction and violence. Some guardians are afraid that letting their children play
video
games
will make them addicted to them. Numerous
games
also
involve fighting, whether it's fists, swords, or gun fights, which can have a negative influence on young children.
To conclude
,
although
video
games
have their flaws
such
as, possibly causing addiction and violence, they can provide kids with a more entertaining education and even improve their capabilities of using computers.
Therefore
, I strongly view the benefits
video
games
hold completely shadow over the consequences.
Submitted by minnikamol on

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task achievement
Consider providing a bit more depth and variety in your examples and arguments to make your position even stronger.
task achievement
Be careful with minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement, which can affect clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, perhaps by enhancing transitional phrases.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and consistent argument, staying focused on the benefits and drawbacks of video games.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion, as well as distinct supporting paragraphs.
task achievement
You successfully use relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning Minecraft as an educational tool.
coherence cohesion
There is a strong logical structure, with points presented in a sensible and easy-to-follow manner.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Interactivity
  • Motivational
  • Educational software
  • Game-based learning
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Social interaction
  • Learning outcomes
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Addictive behavior
  • Inappropriate content
  • Health repercussions
  • Multimedia tools
  • Critical analysis
  • Virtual environments
  • User engagement
  • Psychosocial impacts
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