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Band 4

some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
The
Correct article usage
People
show examples
people
 are living around many
choices
 and we make our
choices
 moment by moment
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our life. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some
people
 believe that nowadays we have too many
choices
. I totally agree with those
people
. I'm going to provide some examples which support my view. One of the major reasons why I believe we have multiple
options
 is related to our modern lifestyle.
For example
, nowadays, technology has been playing
key
Add an article
a key
show examples
 role and it gives more
options
 to
people
.
Therefore
, using
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
people
 can make daily basic
choices
such
 as
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
show examples
 or
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
order through their smartphone in order to buy
somethings
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 they need.
In addition
,
people
 can select their road during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rush time and they have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
possible
Replace the word
possibility
show examples
 to select the meals
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they want to have for lunch or dinner via technology. It seems that those are so basic and tiny
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
. But
people
 have a number of
options
 for making a big
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
such
 as their marriage and studies. Another reason why they have many
choices
 in recent times is associated with human freedom. The freedom gives more opportunities to
people
 making
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
options
such
 as
people
 can select their living place freely at least. In conclusion, all activities are based on
people
's
options
 even big
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 and small activities. So, if
people
 can make
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right choice and decision, they can be
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
.
Submitted by e_ingad on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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