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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

When someone achieves greatness thanks to an innovation or other breakthrough, it is usually agreed that the individual has a high level of intelligence. Do you think that inborn thinking skills play the main role in the successful life of people? What role does ‘nurtured’ intelligence play in achievements of a successful person?

#someone #greatness #thanks #innovation #breakthrough #level #intelligence #skills #role #life #people #‘nurtured’ #achievements #person
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After
celebrity
Correct article usage
a celebrity
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achieving
Wrong verb form
achieves
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new
Correct article usage
a new
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 unbelievable peak or exploring a
novelty
Add a comma
,novelty
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 society makes
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
him a
high
Replace the word
highly
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 intelligent person.
This
 essay says that inborn thinking skills
doesn’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
show examples
 play the main role in
life
Add an article
the life
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 of successful people and nurtured
intelligence
 is the key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it. Obviously, congenital thinking abilities are not even close to enough to live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society. In fact, these skills usually end up by the
primary
Change the adjective
primarily
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 needed instincts and without
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enlargement of knowledge basis,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 is completely unable to explore something new. If we compare two different people, it is evident that
one
 who has access to the present knowledge of the whole
humanity
Change preposition
of humanity
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 will be much nearer to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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breakthrough
Correct article usage
a breakthrough
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 than
one
 who explores all of
things
Add an article
the things
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 by himself.
Consequently
, nurtured
intelligence
 is the crucial
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for success. The big idea of nurtured
intelligence
 is to bequeath and inherit experience from
one
 generation to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
, thereby progress is much closer for
newer
Correct article usage
the newer
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 generation has a basis where their ancestors were grounded. It may be proved by
scientists
Change noun form
scientists'
scientist's
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 opinion that
burning
Correct article usage
the burning
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 of the Alexandrian library inhibited human progress for hundred years. Concluding,
inborn
Correct article usage
the inborn
show examples
 ability to think doesn’t play the main role in the successful life of people,
conversely
 nurtured
intelligence
 is the
one
 that does. That’s why if you want to succeed in something, you have to effort in long-life learning.
Submitted by Zhbiroksana on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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