IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Technological development leads to lots of environmental issues. Some people think a simple lifestyle can preserve the environment while others argue that technology itself can solve it. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#development #lots #people #lifestyle #environment #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The impressive
development
Use synonyms
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 has the potential to lead to numerous issues which are related to the environment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many come to the conclusion that an uncomplicated lifestyle can protect the environment, while other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 can automatically overcome the problems. In my opinion, I believe that
technology
Use synonyms
 can make mankind better in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
. On one hand, it is unnecessary for technologies to exist in a plain lifestyle. A simple way of life where
people
Use synonyms
 do not rely much on
technology
Use synonyms
 and most things operate naturally. Without the demands for
technology
Use synonyms
 equipment, the number of
technology
Use synonyms
 factories can be reduced significantly. For
this
Linking Words
 reason, the amount of industrial
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 from these factories is
also
Linking Words
 decreased and the consequence of
this
Linking Words
 is that less pollution
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in the
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, inventors can develop an automatic system which can be applied to most technological products in order to clean waste without the
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 permission. Thence, humans can use as well as develop the
technology
Use synonyms
. They do not need to pay too much attention to environmental problems since these issues are handled by
technology
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, nowadays, many scientists and astrologists are using
technology
Use synonyms
 for the purpose of finding other planets which have suitable conditions for the
development
Use synonyms
 of human civilization.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is easier for humans to develop with the help of
technology
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the enhancement of modern
technology
Use synonyms
 makes the environment worse as some
people
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 simple lifestyle think, while others reckon that the
development
Use synonyms
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 reduce environmental matters.
Thus
Linking Words
, I trust that
people
Use synonyms
’s lives can be much better with the
development
Use synonyms
 of
technology
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by doibichhoa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: