Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Education has a crucial role in everyone's
life
. Some individuals believe that success in
life
depends on an academic
degree
.
However
, others opine that there are lots of other factors to become successful in
life
. In my opinion, higher education is essential to acquire achievements. In
this
essay, we will elaborate on both points of view in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, a college
degree
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a plethora of opportunities in
students
' lives. First and foremost, they can fulfil the
eligibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
eligibility
show examples
of numerous companies and get a job offer.
For instance
, the top of the association has some eligibility criteria like BCA, B.Tech and more than 60%,
thus
, if
students
have a higher
degree
, they can take part in any team.
Apart from
this
, the level of study in a
degree
is very deep which will help in career growth and the chance of getting more opportunities in future.
Moreover
, scholars tend to earn more salaries than those with less education.
As a result
, higher qualifications help to become a successful person in
life
.
On the other hand
, there are more options to start work after school or diploma. Many young people want to start earning money as soon as possible. In
this
way, pupils have numerous options for finances.
Firstly
,
students
have a choice
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
some institutions
and
Correct word choice
that
show examples
emphasise
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practical knowledge and
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
show examples
of some courses
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
only one year after that they can try
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different companies
according to
their
skills
.
This
may lead to promotions and a successful career.
Secondly
, some people have more work experience,
soft
Correct word choice
and soft
show examples
skills
such
as leadership
skills
and other interpersonal
skills
that will
also
be beneficial in people's careers as some companies hire based on their confidence level and soft
skills
and provide scholarships to the
students
.
To conclude
, pupils have innumerable opportunities for a career path with the help of a high
degree
whereas
students
have
also
an option to register in
less duration
Add a hyphen
less-duration
show examples
courses that will help to gain practical morals.
However
, I believe that a college
degree
is most important to become successful in
life
as
set
Verb problem
apply
show examples
graduation is one of the basic requirements when it comes to recruitment.
Submitted by info.rahil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly developed. Some main points lack sufficient supporting details. Ensure that all examples provided are directly relevant to the points being made.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete and clear response to the task, addressing both viewpoints and giving a clear opinion. However, some points lack in-depth development, and the examples used are not always directly relevant to the arguments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: