IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some think that increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#think #business #contact #nations #disappearance #identity
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Nowadays, while some individuals think that increasing the
trades
Fix the agreement mistake
trade
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 and communications between
countries
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 is an important issue,others deny it and believe
this
Linking Words
 way leads to disappear the identity of
nations
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.In
this
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 ,essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will outline why more contact between
nations
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 is a necessity these days.
First
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 of all,by increasing business
contacts
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 between
nations
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,
countries
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 could use and take patterns from the latest devices and technologies that each other claimed.For ,instance some
countries
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 that they suffer from drought-like
iran
Change the capitalization
Iran
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 could use some other
nations
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 that invent some devices and methods to decrease the wasting of water in Dubai.
Furthermore
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, by increasing these
contacts
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 ,residents could follow and know better other
Use synonyms
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
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 cultures and traditions so
in
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apply
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order that people could communicate better
to
Change preposition
with
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 each other.
For example
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 , Iran increased it,s
contacts
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to
Change preposition
with
show examples
russia
Change the capitalization
Russia
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Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is actually one of the biggest
countries
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 in the world.so in
this
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 case when an
iranian
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Iranian
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 resident manage to visit Russia,
,
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apply
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fortunately
Add the comma(s)
,fortunately
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 he or she could communicate in a better way with the natives and their culture in
russia
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Russia
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because he/she had some knowledge about them and their behaviour. To sum up, in my ,opinion societies have to communicate in
wide
Add an article
a wide
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 range
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the other
countries
Use synonyms
 .in spite of increasing these
contacts
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 leads to the disappearance of national identity but I think its advantages overweigh the drawbacks of
this
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 issue.
Submitted by venumcrazyboy on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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