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Band 6.5

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#violence #playgrounds #parents #children
As
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been shown, violence in the majority of the playgrounds around the world
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been increasing considerably in the
last
 year, but the way the parents are facing
this
 problem remains anything but homogeneous. For some of them, their children should hit back at bullies, for others they should not do it. In
this
 disquisition, I will explicate why I actually agree with the
first
 ones by including examples and my own experience in the topic in order to add
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 to the
explanaition
Correct your spelling
explanation
. On the
one
 hand, there are myriad reasons behind bullies'
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. The most prominent
one
 is that there is a strong motivation behind bullies to show themselves as stronger than their victims.
In other words
, they tend to perceive their victims as weak people
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whom they can take advantage
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to empower themselves in front of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others. To elucidate
further
, some articles published by The Times have explained that each time youngsters bully their peers they are trying to gain a
feel
Replace the word
feeling
show examples
 of power and
demostrate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
 they are stronger than the rest of their mates
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that the best way to respond to
this
 attempt is to hit back them.
For instance
, when I was younger,
one
 of my classmates bullied me because
my
Change preposition
of my
show examples
 appearance and it was not until I hit him that his harassment ended.
On the other hand
,
one
 of the consequences of being bullied
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-esteem. Bullies tend to focus on something
that is
 unique about you trying to create
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
insecurity about that. What happens is that we, as bullied people, internalize it and become insecure about ourselves.
Although
this
 process cannot be solved by hitting back
our
Change preposition
at our
show examples
 aggressors, several studies have concluded that it has a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our self-perception. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that violence is not going to be solved with more
violence
Add a comma
,violence
show examples
 it is
undenaible
Correct your spelling
undeniable
 that sometimes works and the people who
is
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are
show examples
violentized
Correct your spelling
violented
 should respond to the intent in whatever way they can before they can be affected deeply
Submitted by verzuba on

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