Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

In recent days, many people have illnesses, preferring using

alternative

medicines

treatments

to conventional medical

treatments

This

trend can bring a positive result, but its negative impact on health needs to be considered.

Therefore

I strongly believe that

this

situation is a negative development. One useful consequence of

this

trend is the heavy emphasis on natural functions, many people

seek

Correct pronoun usage

who seek

show examples

to use these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

medicine

tend to approach the natural remedies that can help them recover without using drugs or medical

treatments

from

predigious

Correct your spelling

prestigious

prodigious

hospitals.

For example

, herbal

medicine

which is recognized

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can effectively reduce the conditions of allergies and chronic symptoms. Meanwhile, the demerits of

this

tendency

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

numerous problems

Change preposition

show examples

people's well-being,

patients

who opt for

these treatment

Change the determiner

this treatment

these treatments

show examples

often don't believe in scientific experiences, especially the

medicines

which are created in

laboratory

Add an article

the laboratory

a laboratory

show examples

and they usually avoid the treatment

from

Change preposition

show examples

professional doctors. One clear example is that the person who

suffer

Change the verb form

suffers

show examples

from cancer or some serious chronic diseases don't use specialized health care or

medicine

, they threaten their own life owing to the wrong religion.

Moreover

, the use of

alternative

medicines

can result in delays in receiving proper medical care. In some cases,

patients

choose to forego or delay necessary medical

treatments

in favour of

alternative

options, which can result in the progression of their illness or condition.

This

can lead to complications, higher medical costs, and even death in severe cases. An example of the negative impact of relying solely on

alternative

medicines

is the case of Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple Inc. Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He

initially

chose to rely on

alternative

medicine

and delayed conventional medical treatment. By the time he eventually sought medical intervention, it was too late. In conclusion, different

medicines

can bring natural

treatments

for

patients

and it seems

Change the article

show examples

appeling

Correct your spelling

appealing

choice for many

patients

, but the negative results hidden behind can lead their lives to dangerous cases.

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu Jun 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Try to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and ensure sentence clarity. For instance, phrases like 'using alternative medicines or treatments to conventional medical treatments' can be revised to 'using alternative medicines or treatments instead of conventional medical treatments.'

expansion

While your essay has relevant points and examples, consider elaborating more on each idea to provide a more comprehensive argument. Expanding on certain consequences and providing additional examples could enhance your task response score.

coherence

To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Linking phrases and words can help achieve this. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' and 'Besides' can help maintain the flow.

clarity

The essay clearly presents a position and maintains it throughout, which is crucial for a higher task response score.

examples

The inclusion of specific examples, such as the case of Steve Jobs, effectively supports the main points and demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

structure

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear starting point and ending for the reader.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project he or she is doing about celebrating Nes Year in different countries. write a letter to your friend. in your letter write a letter to your friend. In your letter : Say how important new year is to people in your country . Describe now new year is celebrated in your country . Explain what you like about New Year celebrations in your country.
I trust this letter finds you well and enthusiastic about your college project focusing on New Year celebrations across various countries. I am delighted to aid you in your research and shed light on how we rejoice in the New Year in my homeland.
<4
band
Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While a faction of people hold the notion that senior management should take business decisions is the ideal practice, others argue that all level of employees should consulted and involved for the decision making process. I completely agree with the latter view as ample of reasons are present to substantiate it. This essay would delve into my viewpoints with relevant illustrations.
5
band
Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?
Without a doubt, time has been one of the most important aspects of people’s lives. Because of this, most people tend to plan out how they would spend their time wisely by making schedules of what would have to be done for days, or even weeks to come. Yet, a handful of people believe that making plans seems to be a waste of time. Hence, in this essay, I will discuss both views regarding this issue and why I firmly agree with making plans in order to maximize our time due to some reasons set out below.
6.5
band
Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?
In the modern day, we can't deny the fact that learning about new things is extremely vital, especially on planets in the solar system. Therefore, a large number of countries around the world have begun to research and find ways to go to those lands. That's why it has led to lots of conflicting opinions, some of which imply that space adventures are just a way for nations to show their pride. Meanwhile, in contrast, a group of people suppose that space projects have a lot to do with joint efforts among countries. From my perspective, I recognize that space investigation into a great number of lands is not as important as the impact it has had on the world.
4.5
band
You are studying English at the private language school attended by many internatsional students. You are planning a surprise biryhday party for a friend who has been feeling particularly sad and homesick. Write to another classmate and invite him/her to the party. In your letter: •explain the reason for the party •give the date and time of the party •suggest what the classmate could bring to the party
How are you ? I hope you are please about our language school. I do not have any idea if you are aware of our surprise party which is dealed for two days later for our good classmate Robin , from Turkey is going to have his 18th biryhday three days later which falls on the 25th of September and l have plan to makes it a surprise biryhday party just after our French language lesson.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?