Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education. How far do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #governments #money #arts #education

Although

there are some who believe

governments

ought to save money by spending less on

arts

, others believe

education

is more important and the money has to be invested in

this

. In my opinion, both fields are important for people and they could benefit. On the one hand, some believe

arts

have been an important field of study and development for human beings.

Furthermore

, a benefit could be that opens our minds. Thanks to the

arts

, humanity

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

found out about many parts of history since many paintings in the cavern have shown us how people

live

Wrong verb form

lived

show examples

a long time ago.

For example

, without art could be difficult to know about our history.

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

architecture has been created with the old art found and today many architects are inspired by the old blueprints.

Nevertheless

, many people think

arts

is an unnecessary spend for the

governments

On the other hand

education

is the main field to learn about anything that we want to know and in many

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

governments

understand without

education

could be difficult to improve our

advance

Replace the word

advancement

show examples

in fields like technology or medicine. In my opinion,

this

could be a mixture of

arts

For instance

, in many ,universities there are opportunities to choose subjects like painting

while

students are studying engineering.

However

, there are

governments

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the world who think

this

could be a mistake for students and they have to study only their career and save money by deleting these subjects in schools or universities. In conclusion, there are some that believe

education

is more important than

arts

, but in my opinion, both could be a complement to the development of humanity with a lot of benefits.

Submitted by roberto.carrascopizarro on Thu May 05 2022

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task response

Ensure the response fully addresses all parts of the essay prompt, providing a clear opinion and supporting arguments for both sides.

coherence and cohesion

Work on organizing ideas in a more logical manner, connecting sentences and paragraphs smoothly to enhance coherence.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.

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