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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts claim that most of the outstanding innovations and breakthroughs have been made by people with a high level of so-called ‘innate intelligence’. What are the advantages and disadvantages of relying on this theory in order to succeed in life for an ordinary people?

#experts #innovations #breakthroughs #people #level #‘innate #intelligence’ #theory #life
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Most experts believe that many of
humanity
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's achievements in science have been made by
people
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 with a high level of innate intelligence.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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advantages and disadvantages of relying on
this
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 claim to develop
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 of common
people
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.
This
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 action has two major benefits: improvement in the quality of human life and
humanity
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's access to new opportunities. The main goal of all innovations is to use their results for the benefit of humankind.
People
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 have always wanted to make their lives easier by inventing different machines to do
people
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's dirty work. One day
people
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 were too lazy to decapitate each other and came up with the heliantine. But ordinary
people
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 are not capable of simply making a discovery. More often than not,
such
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people
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 are born once in a decade. Another advantage is the new possibilities. There are many examples in history of
people
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 who were not born at the right time.
For example
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, Leonardo da Vinci dreamed of flying into the sky when there were no trains yet. In his time, it was not possible to invent and test
an
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the
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airplane
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aeroplane
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. And now flying is a common phenomenon. Like two sides of a coin,
this
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 idea has disadvantages.
First
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, entrusting the fate of
humanity
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 to one person is a huge risk.
For example
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,
this
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 chosen one may have personal interests that are detrimental to society.
Second
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, it would condemn all of
humanity
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 to monarchy. History has proven time and again that monarchy is not the best way to govern. In the end, it leads to revolution and world war. To summarize, I can say that in order to achieve success, you need to trust
people
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 with innate intelligence. But, giving them absolute power can be very damaging to society
Submitted by Zhbiroksana on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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