IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that schools should involve students in school management. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Give reasons for your answer.

#people #schools #students #school #management #idea
Youngsters are the building blocks and future of the nation. Certain people think that the management of learning institutions should involve scholars in their administration work
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 others reject the notion. I agree with the former view and the illustrations with examples will be provided in upcoming paragraphs.
Thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
 with, the most pivotal reason is that the minds of school students are extremely innovative. As per the researchers, when the knowledge of
Add a hyphen
2005-born
show examples
2005 born
Add a hyphen
2005-born
show examples
 juveniles is compared to the 1995-born person the results were astonishing as the new generation is seen as quite active as they can wrap things around their mind easily.
Moreover
, when children get a chance to get involved, they can gain physical experience about every aspect of working in an institution.
For example
, in Indian schools, all the pupils are divided into a few houses or groups and every group is led by a house head that represents their house problems and suggestions in front of the higher officials of schools.
As a result
,
this
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 excellent opportunity to gain leadership qualities.
Hence
, all these merits stand in very good stead. Moving
further
 with the same view, whenever tutees indulge in management work,
this
 helps them to show their potential and knowledge to organisation heads. To exemplify, most colleges and universities conduct on-campus recruitment for their institutes
therefore
,
this
 could prove to be a golden ticket for them to exile in their career.
Furthermore
,
this
 collaboration of teachers and students is helpful for learners to learn their senior's working techniques
therefore
, they can use these in future to get white-collar jobs with handsome salaries.
According to
 the reasons aforementioned above, one can reach a logical conclusion that the benefits of involving the learners in the institutional work provided above are instrumental indeed dire to ignore.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure. Each paragraph should relate clearly to the main idea and to each other. Avoid using too many ideas in one paragraph that may result in the content appearing cluttered.
task achievement
To improve your score, aim to express ideas fully and develop each one comprehensively. Make sure that ideas are directly related to the question prompt and contribute towards fully answering the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: