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Band 5

People from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficulty to get university education. Some people think that the government should make it easier for them to enter universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #backgrounds #difficulty #university #education #government #universities
Some argue that for now,
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 in some countries are now free, providing for all their citizens, even though it costs extremely high. There are a number of beneficial aspects
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 free
education
 in
university
.
In contrast
, there are some drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 point.
This
 essay will explain both sides of free
university
education
. On the one hand, free
education
 benefits teenagers in various ways.
Firstly
, Free
education
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 the cost
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
. Parents can use
this
 part of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 to do something else, improving their welfare.
Secondly
, Teenagers who take a gap year will not be hardworking for the
university
 fees. They can more prepare for the admission or take their time to learn themselves.
Finally
,
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 are more attractive. Due to the free learning, all people who
Add a missing verb
are interest
show examples
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 study can all join without
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are some disadvantages
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 free
education
 in
university
. Certainly, universities will earn income lower than past. They do not take money from students. For
this
 reason,
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 will not have profits to manage the organization or
expanding
Wrong verb form
expand
show examples
 any institutes.
Furthermore
, students who
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
free
Change preposition
in free
show examples
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 from the
university
. They may have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to retire more than one who
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 fees.
This
 is because they feel like it does not their money
therefore
 it would be no effects. In conclusion, in my opinion, I think free
university
education
 benefits students. If the
university
education
 is free, there will be a number of people who
Add a missing verb
are interest
show examples
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
show examples
in
Correct pronoun usage
itin
show examples
.
In addition
, free
education
 must be served
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who really needs it.
Submitted by don.dn125 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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