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Band 6.5

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
The discussion of what kind of personality should be encouraged has triggered a controversy. Some people believe that a sense of
competition
 is more useful, whereas others argue that
cooperation
 is of paramount importance to
children
. In my opinion,
competition
 and
cooperation
 are not mutually exclusive, and both
competition
 and
cooperation
 should be encouraged in
children
. A sense of
competition
 contributes to individuals’ success and social progress,
thus
this
 personality should be encouraged when an individual is growing up. It is not uncommon that
competition
 motivates people to perform better, so it can drive
children
 to be better in both academic performance, self-discipline, career success and other aspects. The sports
competition
 is a good telling example. It is a sense of
competition
 that motivates athletes to break records and pushes them to achieve their career success. A leader who is told to be competitive in childhood is more likely to provide better services or products since he is not willing to be left behind and
then
 make
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every effort to create new ideas.
On the other hand
,
cooperation
 helps
children
 to improve their communication and organization skills which play a significant role in work.
For example
, in order to reach a consensus, organizing a meeting seems necessary so that team members can communicate with others and exchange their ideas. In the modern society, it is undeniable that under no circumstance can an individual accomplishes a whole task Even a basic task is required to communicate with others, regarding managers, they are capable of communication capacity which can make sure the teams run efficiently and organization skill which is essential to a group’s effectivity. Namely,
cooperation
 and communication skills play a significant part in adult life, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 that it is essential to foster these capacities in childhood. To conclude, in my opinion,
competition
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as cooperation,
show examples
cooperation
 should be encouraged in
children
, for both are useful skills in helping them
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
succeed.
Submitted by monicahe0211 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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