IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many young people
work
Use synonyms
 on a volunteer basis, and
this
Linking Words
 can only
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
 for individuals and society. I do not agree that we should force all teenagers to do unpaid
work
Use synonyms
. Most young people are already under enough pressure with their studies and they should not think about any other
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. School is just demanding like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 job, and teachers expect their
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to do all homework and exam revision every day. When young people have some free time, we should encourage them to enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
 their friends and do their other leisure pursuits. They have many years of
work
Use synonyms
 ahead of them when they finish their studies. At the same time, society can gain some benefits from students who
forced
Add a missing verb
are forced
show examples
 to unpaid
work
Use synonyms
. In fact, I argue that government
to force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
 a group of adults to do something against their will. So
that is
Linking Words
 why nobody is forced
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 volume and
this
Linking Words
 is surely the best system. In conclusion, teenagers may choose if they wish to
work
Use synonyms
 for free or help others freely, but in my opinion, we should not enforce them to do
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by ssssssss.sanjar.2005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: