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Band 2.5

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists.Do you agree or disagree. Support with reason and example from your own expert.

#people #entertainers #scientists #support #reason #expert
Some argue that for now,
entertainers
 play an important role than
scientists
. in my opinion, people get used to the entertainment more than the scientific works
therefore
, they are
likely
Correct quantifier usage
more likely
show examples
 to outweigh the
entertainers
 than the
scientists
.
On
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 essay will explain how
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role as well as
entertainers
 do and show some significant examples.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand,
entertainers
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
 our world economy
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, a number of companies make a deal with some
entertainers
 to become
brand
ambrassader
Correct your spelling
ambassador
ambassadors
.
This
 group of
entertainers
 play an important role in
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
 market by influencing
comsumer
Correct your spelling
consumer
consumers
 to purchase
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 product. there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
brand
 ambassadors which are now popular
such
 as Cristiano Ronaldo,a
brand
 ambassador of Nike. It is seen that the
brand
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
show examples
 an entertainer by their careers
such
 as sport wears
brand
 may choose to
athlete
Add an article
the athlete
an athlete
show examples
, music instruments
brand
 may choose some famous band. To sum up, it is seen that
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 economy
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 driven by
entertainers
.
On the other hand
,
scientists
 make the world move forward.
Firstly
 use of
technolo
Correct your spelling
technology
 In conclusion, in my opinion, both careers are important.
entertaine
Correct your spelling
entertained
entertain
 while
scientists
 work in the background to bring a
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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