There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #factor

There is no doubt that people stay employed

due to

many factors, and money has been considered as the most essential reason to remain in the same occupation. Admittedly, I completely disagree with

this

statement and I am going to elaborate on my perspective in the following paragraph. First and foremost, job satisfaction is considered to be a major contributor to office enthusiasm,

due to

the fact that doing what you love makes your activities or

test

Correct subject-verb agreement

tests

show examples

easier and more interesting.

In other words

, it provides you the feeling of pleasure, which can help you get rid of stress

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

in the workplace. Evidence of

this

appears in my own life: my mother is an elementary school teacher and has been teaching English for over 30 years.

Although

she only earned a little money, she took delight in it because she really

likes

Wrong verb form

liked

show examples

to teach children and was

also

highly respected by her students.

As a consequence

, satisfaction plays a significant role in putting more effort into performance.

Furthermore

, the atmosphere

Change preposition

show examples

working

Correct article usage

the working

show examples

area is

also

one of the crucial causes to be in the workplace. Working with friendly colleagues and a

well

Correct word choice

good

show examples

boss can boost employees' confidence and happiness because it creates a comfortable working environment without coworker pressure. A good illustration of

this

is despite my workplace being extremely far from my home, my colleagues are so kind that I decided to stay and work with them.

Therefore

, people ignore unpleasant factors when they are working in a great team. In conclusion, cash indeed motivates a part of society to work.

However

, satisfaction and the working environment

also

have an important impact that

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

them to be more productive.

Submitted by thesisabri on Tue Jan 30 2024

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Task Response

Make sure your essay has a clear position throughout, and keep your conclusion consistent with the introduction.

Task Response

Develop your main points fully. Each paragraph should clearly follow from the introductory sentences to the specific details and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to the logical structure, ensuring ideas transition smoothly from one to the next.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's character and culture from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe the benefits of tourism outweigh the problems it creates in a particular place. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decresing. Do you think this is a positive/negative development?

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?