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Band 5.5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by International fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional foods while other believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #foods #food #people #choice
It is often argued that nowadays people opt more for
junk
food
 whilst others believe traditional
food
 is far more beneficial and healthier as compared to fast
food
.
This
 essay will discuss both the perspectives and why I firmly believe that traditional meal has more nutritional value and
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to
health
 in comparison to
junk
food
. In
this
 modernised era, when every individual is so busy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
achieving their desired goals they barely have
time
 for cooking, due to
this
 reason they find eating frozen , processed or canned
food
 much better, less
time
 consuming and
hassle free
Add a hyphen
hassle-free
show examples
. Whereas,
on the other hand
 preparing a traditional meal requires ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
 and dexterity.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 in a study done by
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
Health
 Organisation for determining
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of eating
junk
food
 on people in various countries, The United State Of America ranked
first
 where its consumption was highest , followed by The United Kingdom and
then
 Korea and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the subjects included in the study were
working class
Add a hyphen
working-class
show examples
 or university students who barely get
time
 to cook because of their busy schedule, so they find it better to opt for
junk
food
.
On the other hand
, I believe traditional cuisine is far much better considering its nutritional values as its ingredients are fresh vegetables and herbs which are
rich
Add an article
a rich
show examples
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of minerals whereas consumption of fast
food
 may lead to many fatal diseases
such
 as high
cholestrol
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
, high blood pressure and diabetes.
Therefore
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
use of fast
food
 should be restricted. In a study done by
All
Correct article usage
the All
show examples
 India Institute of Medical Sciences on
progressive
Add an article
the progressive
show examples
 use of
junk
food
 among adults and youngsters in cities vs villages, it was found that there was a rise in
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 problems in Urban areas,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 villagers demonstrated
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
health
 issues due to their fresh and nutritional diet. To conclude, undoubtedly there is a gradual peak in consumption of
junk
food
 in the past few years,
however
 , I
bellieve
Correct your spelling
believe
 none
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
food
 can replace cultural
food
 in terms of its nutritional value, so better to opt for healthy
food
instead
 of fast
food
.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritional value
  • culinary heritage
  • preserve traditions
  • global cuisine
  • obesity epidemic
  • dietary habits
  • convenience factor
  • food culture
  • sustainable practices
  • local produce
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