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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by International fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional foods while other believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #foods #food #people #choice
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It is often argued that nowadays people opt more for
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 whilst others believe traditional
food
Use synonyms
 is far more beneficial and healthier as compared to fast
food
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the perspectives and why I firmly believe that traditional meal has more nutritional value and
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to
health
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 in comparison to
junk
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food
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 modernised era, when every individual is so busy
in
Change preposition
apply
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achieving their desired goals they barely have
time
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 for cooking, due to
this
Linking Words
 reason they find eating frozen , processed or canned
food
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 much better, less
time
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 consuming and
hassle free
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hassle-free
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. Whereas,
on the other hand
Linking Words
 preparing a traditional meal requires ample
of
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apply
show examples
time
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 and dexterity.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 in a study done by
World
Correct article usage
the World
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Health
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 Organisation for determining
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of eating
junk
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food
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 on people in various countries, The United State Of America ranked
first
Linking Words
 where its consumption was highest , followed by The United Kingdom and
then
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 Korea and
majority
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the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the subjects included in the study were
working class
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working-class
show examples
 or university students who barely get
time
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 to cook because of their busy schedule, so they find it better to opt for
junk
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food
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe traditional cuisine is far much better considering its nutritional values as its ingredients are fresh vegetables and herbs which are
rich
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a rich
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source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 of minerals whereas consumption of fast
food
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 may lead to many fatal diseases
such
Linking Words
 as high
cholestrol
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
, high blood pressure and diabetes.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
use of fast
food
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 should be restricted. In a study done by
All
Correct article usage
the All
show examples
 India Institute of Medical Sciences on
progressive
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the progressive
show examples
 use of
junk
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food
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 among adults and youngsters in cities vs villages, it was found that there was a rise in
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health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 problems in Urban areas,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 villagers demonstrated
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 issues due to their fresh and nutritional diet. To conclude, undoubtedly there is a gradual peak in consumption of
junk
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food
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 in the past few years,
however
Linking Words
 , I
bellieve
Correct your spelling
believe
 none
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
food
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 can replace cultural
food
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 in terms of its nutritional value, so better to opt for healthy
food
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instead
Linking Words
 of fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritional value
  • culinary heritage
  • preserve traditions
  • global cuisine
  • obesity epidemic
  • dietary habits
  • convenience factor
  • food culture
  • sustainable practices
  • local produce
What to do next:
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