IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The growth of online shoping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
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Nowadays, the development of technology can
change
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 our lives and lifestyles. One of these changes is relevant to businesses and
shops
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. Some people believe that the progress of online shopping will be
due to
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 the closing of stores in towns. I entirely agree with
this
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 idea, and in
this
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 essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
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, Historically, humans wanted to create a facility to live more comfortably, and online shopping is the same. It is easier to find everything on a website than search for them in town and in
shops
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. Take Amazon as an example; as you know, you can find everything on it,
such
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 as mobile phones, shoes, and so on. You can do it on your furniture without searching for it in town and experiencing traffic.
In other words
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, you can buy or find everything like a piece of cake. Another reason why I agree with
that is
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 you can find everything in various models, not just specific models.
For example
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, you can find shoes in several models and brands in just a few minutes when searching on the website or in an online shop. What's more, you have more choices when being in
this
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 situation and spend less time.
On the other hand
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, some people prefer to buy in
shops
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, and they claim you should test everything before you order.
As a result
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, it would be surprising if
shops
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 in towns and cities closed because there are some fans who prefer it. In conclusion, everything will
change
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 with technology, and there are some reasons that encourage people to use online shopping. Personally,
shops
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 should
change
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 their workstyles to benefit from
this
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change
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 and be up to date to survive.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical flow. Your paragraphs should be well-organized, each beginning with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations or examples that support the main idea. Aim for a structure where the introduction sets the stage, body paragraphs elaborate on points with specific examples, and the conclusion ties everything together and restates your stance.
task achievement
For a higher score, your essay should fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your position is clear throughout, and your arguments are fully explored and balanced. You should support your ideas with specific examples, making sure they are relevant and illustrative of your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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