IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines does this develoment has more advantages or disadvantaged.

Nowadays, many tasks in the home that were done by
hand
Use synonyms
 in the past are now done by
machines
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think
this
Linking Words
 is not good, but I believe it has more advantages than disadvantages. One disadvantage is that
people
Use synonyms
 move less when
machines
Use synonyms
 do everything.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past,
people
Use synonyms
 cleaned the floor with a broom, but now they use vacuum cleaners.
Also
Linking Words
, washing clothes by
hand
Use synonyms
 used to be a physical activity, but now washing
machines
Use synonyms
 do it.
This
Linking Words
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 lazy and less active. Another problem is that if the
machines
Use synonyms
 break or there is no electricity, many
people
Use synonyms
 don’t know how to do the work by
hand
Use synonyms
 anymore.
However
Linking Words
, I think there are more benefits to using
machines
Use synonyms
 at home.
First,
Linking Words
machines
Use synonyms
 save
time
Use synonyms
. Washing dishes or clothes by
hand
Use synonyms
 takes a long
time
Use synonyms
, but
machines
Use synonyms
 do it faster.
This
Linking Words
 gives
people
Use synonyms
 more free
time
Use synonyms
 to relax, work, or spend with their families.
Second,
Linking Words
machines
Use synonyms
 do some jobs better than humans.
For example
Linking Words
, a dishwasher can
clean
Wrong verb form
be cleaned
show examples
 with hot water, which kills more germs than handwashing.
Also
Linking Words
, some new
machines
Use synonyms
 help old
people
Use synonyms
 or
people
Use synonyms
 with disabilities.
For example
Linking Words
, smart vacuum robots or voice assistants help them do things without asking others for help.
This
Linking Words
 gives them more freedom and makes life easier. In conclusion, even though
machines
Use synonyms
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 less active, the good things they bring—like saving
time
Use synonyms
 and helping
people
Use synonyms
—are more important. So, I believe
machines
Use synonyms
 at home are mostly a good development.

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task achievement
Add more examples to support your points, especially in the disadvantages section.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and connect them smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to show how ideas are connected, such as 'however' or 'for example'.
task achievement
Good introduction and conclusion that clearly state your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Clear organization of ideas in paragraphs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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