IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #planners #shops #schools #offices #homes #areas
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There is plenty of
city
Use synonyms
 planners
consider
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who consider
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 that diverse functional buildings should be divided into different places
instead
Linking Words
 of gathering them together. From my
perspctive
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perspective
, it is not a reasonable suggestion
beacause
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because
 its gains can not compensate its costs. It is
ture
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true
sure
 that if we separate functional buildings,
such
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 as
,
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apply
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super markets
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supermarkets
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,
liberaries
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libraries
,
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executive
excutive
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and excutive
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insititutions
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institutions
, into different concerns of
cities
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, the
cities
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 can get a lot of
beniefits
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benefits
.
For example
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, in a
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multi-center
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multi-centre
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city
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, residents have to go
diverse
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to diverse
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 areas of
this
Linking Words
city
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 to deal with their issues rather than gather
into
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in
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 one
city
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center
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centre
show examples
, so the heavy traffic would be moderated, given the traffic jam which is brought by
densely
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density
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 population is a typical problem of modern
cities
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, it is a good idea to build the
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multi-center
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multi-centre
show examples
city
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.
However
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, Since the building of
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Correct article usage
a multi-center
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multi-center
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multi-centre
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city
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 requires
huge
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a huge
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 amount of money to build transportation
infrastrctures
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infrastructure
infrastructures
 to connect different parts of the
city
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, the cost of building
this
Linking Words
 kind of
city
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 is unaffordable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
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apply
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local
goverments
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governments
government
, especially for small
cities
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.
Moreover
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, if the building of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a multi-center
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multi-center
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multi-centre
show examples
city
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 runs out
the
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of the
show examples
 limited budget of local
goverments
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governments
government
,
other essential public service
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another essential public service
other essential public services
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,
for example
Linking Words
, the investment
on
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in
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 educational
insititutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
, will be underfunded, which is not a positive thing for the development of a
city
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 in a long term. From
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 discussions, it is clear to see that the gains of building the
Use synonyms
multi-center
Change the spelling
multi-centre
show examples
city
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 can not outweigh the cost of it. To sum up, even if separating functional buildings of a
city
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 would generate some benefits,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the huge cost of
this
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 proposal prevents it
becoming
Change preposition
from becoming
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 a reasonable choice for many
cities
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • spatial organization
  • urban sprawl
  • economic development
  • congestion
  • efficient land use
  • noise pollution
  • mitigating
  • amenities
  • reliance on vehicles
  • commute times
  • socioeconomic groups
  • diversity
  • sense of community
  • mixed-use spaces
  • sustainable urban lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: