IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many animals today are being hunted to the point of extinction. What can be done to tackle this problem?

#animals #point #extinction
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Since
,
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apply
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animals
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 have become
a vital creatures
Correct the article-noun agreement
a vital creature
vital creatures
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 in our ecosystem.
However
Linking Words
, the most critical issue is now going on.
That is
Linking Words
faunas
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 have
hunted
Add a missing verb
been hunted
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 enormously by
humans
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 in
day
Correct article usage
the day
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today
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to day
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. while
as a result
Linking Words
, it paves the way to eradicate wild
animals
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 .
In
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This
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this
Linking Words
 essay focus on what are the problems
for
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of
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this
Linking Words
 extinction in
faunas
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 and solutions to mitigate these issues from our globe.
To begin
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 with, one of the
first
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problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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 is wherever
animals
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 are used to manufacture various types of products by
humans
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 for business purposes.
Also
Linking Words
, those
people
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conversately
Correct your spelling
conversely
 try to use
that specific
Change the determiner
that specific animal
those specific animals
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animals
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 and
consequently
Linking Words
, those
faunas
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 have become endangered
in
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at
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 alarming rates.
In addition
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, medicines, ornaments,
traditional
Correct word choice
and traditional
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 statues are produced by using
animals
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.
For example
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, Indochina Tigers were extinct
before
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for
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 a decade of
period
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the period
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 because
people
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 were engaged
on
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in
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 hunting tigers. These animal's
bone
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bones
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 and skin
used
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are used
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for
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to
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create
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creating
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 medicines and clothes for enormously by business traders.
Therefore
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,
faunas
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 have become endangered especially, because of
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humans
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humans'
human's
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 detrimental activities and selfish reasons. A possible
solutions
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solution
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 to
these problem
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this problem
these problems
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 is to implement rules and regulations witha
effective
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an effective
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 and efficient way
among
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within
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community
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the community
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.
Moreover
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, whenever, governments should be want to propose plans and schemes to reduce
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
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 of
animals
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 in our environment.
For example
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, In2000,
Correct article usage
the Nigeria
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Nigeria
Replace the word
Nigerian
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 government
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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reduced
hunting
Correct article usage
the hunting
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wildlife
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of wildlife
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animals
Use synonyms
 rate by owning 1000$
of
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apply
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penalty from hunters.
Additionally
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, responsible sectors can organise awareness programmes and
educateto
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educate
people
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 about
significance
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the significance
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 of
faunas
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. In conclusion,
animals
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 are become endangered due to
Use synonyms
humans
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human
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 violations and to
fulfil
Wrong verb form
fulfilling
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 their needs and requirements. If
people
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Add a missing verb
are concern
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concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 about these natural creatures by themselves,
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 we would
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Submitted by skrodrigo030 on

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