in some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. what whould you think the causes, and what measures could be taken to solve them

It is well expressed that
health
is wealth. In most corners of
this
,globe the norm weight of a nation is
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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dramatically.
This
is
also
related to
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
well-being rate,
as a result
of,
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
doing healthy habits
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
day-by-day body work-out or morning
run
Fix the agreement mistake
runs
show examples
and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
having a sedentary lifestyle.
This
essay will explain the main causes of being over-weighted and decreasing
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
status of individuals.
Also
, will suggest some solutions to these problems. The major cause of having a low rate of
health
conditions is connected to the society's unhealthy
dietary
Replace the word
diet
show examples
. it is undeniable the fast pace of
this
modern life has been taken
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
the normal speed of our lives.
Therefore
, many may prefer to consume fast delivery and oily foods like pizza or burgers which most contain an enormous amount of fat.
In addition
, in today's hectic life people should manage their usual activities for staying away from
health
ailments,
otherwise
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many just used to sit in one place and avoid doing heavy activities that could burn
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
collected fats of an unhealthy diet they will get abuse.
Besides
, many may have less information about their body and its function. As human torso is complicated and not knowing the structure may lead us to misuse it. Measures should be taken to get these issues solved. One of the major remedies for
this
is regular sports activities. the public gain mass amount of fat due to their oily regime so the best way to vanish them is exercising with different sort of available sports
such
as, playing tennis or attending to a gym course which will cause incredible results for our perfect body
health
and its shape's. Another solution is, to change the poor diet of consuming meat-based cousins with a vegetarian style.
This
method could benefit us with low sugar and fat included in its recipes and may nutritious us with reach proteins.
Also
, there is a very low risk of getting cardiovascular diseases with utilizing
this
method. All in all, there is an argument that today many are getting overweighted and
as a result
, their fitness care in the danger of various disease. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
there are some remedies
such
as trying a better diet and doing regular sports.
Submitted by parafik on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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