IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #information #research #business #world
Science can become a powerful weapon if
countries
 use it wisely. Some people think that it is good to share the
information
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
countries
 in scientific
research
, whereas some people believe that some
information
 is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. In my opinion,
although
 sharing
information
 can benefit our society, it is a waste of budget for some
countries
.
First
 of all, if all of the
countries
 need to share their scientific
research
, other
countries
 would choose to wait for the
information
.
This
 means that the level of scientific
research
 will decelerate since they can just wait for free
information
 shared by other
countries
.
For example
, if a
country
 can get the latest medicine which can cure Covid-19,
then
 why that
country
 would spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of budget to develop the medicine
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their lab? It is unworthy to do
research
 by themselves.
Moreover
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific
information
 should be shared freely
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
countries
,
then
 the method of producing nuclear weapons would
also
 be shared equally. To be specific, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
countries
 would own nuclear weapons.
Therefore
,
this
 might cause a disaster to our earth if there is a regional conflict or even a global conflict between
countries
. Once the
country
 decides to bombard these weapons, it would cause a catastrophe to people, lands, and water.
Last
 but not least,
although
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
countries
, especially developing
countries
, can
be benefit
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 from the free
information
, these
countries
 would lose their competence at the same time.
Furthermore
, if the main
research
country
 decides not to share the
information
 freely, other
countries
 would be restricted by the main
country
.
For instance
, since most of the counties in Africa need financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
, those
countries
 become alleys in international conferences of the
country
 which offers financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them. To sum up, it is hard to deny that sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
 in scientific
research
 can increase
welfare
Add an article
the welfare
show examples
 of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 society.
However
, I think
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 for many
countries
.
Submitted by vivian.88610 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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