IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

in many parts of the world children and teenagers are spending more and more of there time indoors. what do you think are the causes of this problem? what measures could best be taken to solve it.

#parts #world #children #teenagers #time #indoors #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days an increasing number of children have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 sedentary lifestyle and spend a great deal of time at home which could be harmful in terms of physical and mental health. There are main reasons for
this
 issue and
also
 the governments and parents should take several measures to address
this
 crisis. Toi begin with, children nowadays have more tendency to stay at home and engage
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some indoor activities. The chief reason for
such
 a problem is
growth
Add an article
the growth
a growth
show examples
 of technology. to
explan
Correct your spelling
explain
 more
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 living in
technological
Correct article usage
a technological
show examples
 era repetition
for example
, one survey has revealed that 80% of children aged 12-14 have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 account in one online game and spend at least 4-6 hours per day in
this
 pattern.
Submitted by mortezashirsavar92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: