One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #advantage #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Today, the unprecedented advancements in the medical healthcare system result in the

phenomena

Fix the agreement mistake

phenomenon

show examples

that people’s lifespan is significantly increasing.

Although

Linking Words

there is a concern that

this

Linking Words

issue probably causes many detrimental influences

Change preposition

show examples

societies, I firmly believe

this

Linking Words

development could create more merits than its demerits.

To begin

Linking Words

with, people arguing that the increasing

life

Use synonyms

expectancy brings several drawbacks have their own reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the most noticeable evidence is that people

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

longer means there is a gradually rising need for doctors, nurses and especially medical equipment and facilities. As a consequence, governments have to consider spending an astronomical extra budget to support and fund the treatment costs as well as hospital resources.

Besides

Linking Words

, not everyone can afford

first

Linking Words

-class treatment.

In other words

Linking Words

, the poor class may not have a chance to access these advancements.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is actually a miracle for those who can approach the improved medical care system. At an individual level, having longer longevity means that people have more time to enjoy their

life

Use synonyms

. They probably spend extra time

to travel

Change the verb form

traveling

show examples

and

visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

places they have never been to before or just

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

care of their offspring. And at a nation's economic level, any country having an ultra-modern methodology in treatment always has more stable and developed

economics

Replace the word

economies

show examples

. When people’s average

life

Use synonyms

span increases, the retirement age would probably rise as well and

hence

Linking Words

they have more time for dedicating and making profits to the marketplace.

Besides

Linking Words

, their precious experience in working and communicating is a valuable and inspirational thing to be shared with youngsters to motivate them to reach greater achievements. To sum up, despite some aforementioned downside, the improved developments in the medical healthcare sector have undoubtedly decreased the fatal

Correct your spelling

diseases's

diseases

deseases’s

Change noun form

deseases

show examples

rate in the whole world and brought us a better quality of

life

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, the elderly are currently no longer a serious burden as before.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Sat May 07 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
dependency ratio
healthcare costs
working-age population
financial stability
medical research
age-related diseases
generational bonds
social services
pensions
elderly care
consumer market
ethical considerations
prolonged life
burden on healthcare systems
wisdom and experience
retirement periods
family bonds
industries targeting elderly
improved medical care

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Your friend had made a plan for you to see a movie together but you cannot now not join him. You've found another friend who can go instead of you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: ● Explain why you cannot go anymore ● Say who can go instead of you ● Say why this person is a good person to go with
I am sorry to cancel the movie appointment because my mother has not been well lately and she is now admitted to the hospital near her house. As you know , she is pretty old and weak . She will need to go through surgery tomorrow. That is the reason that I am going to have to stay with her for a month.
5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where did their training. Others believe they should be freen to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In some countries, the majority of professionals, which have completed their requiriments as students, are relocating to places where is more convenient to live in. Many people argue that their careers should be carried out in the same region where their training was recieved, however many others consider that everybody could choose freely where execute their professions. I partially agree with these statements, and I staunchly believe that both sides should be taken into account. In this essay, I will explain the two positions in detail and give my personal opinion.
<4
band
People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Whether or not, to permit individuals to have a driver license in their twenties or not is a contentious issue. This writer argues that government need to give residents permission to drive a car due to their great responsibility, despite the necessity of driving.
5.5
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
In the present era, rising skyscrapers and expanding cities are consider as a marvelous achievement of development of the country. However, in many nations this unplanned development causing the reduction in variety and number of flora and fauna. Over dependence on the fossil fuels and plastic products are even exacerbating the situation. This essay will explain further how aforementioned issues contributes to number of flora and fauna to decline and discuss some possible solutions.
4
band
Some parents think that helping their children with homework is a good idea. Others believe children should do their homework on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some parents' assisstance of their kids to do hometasks is beneficial, While Others opinion is that Done homework independent is a good way. Both opinion have balances. There are uselnesses of using both opinion for their kids. In this essay it will be discussed both arguments.

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where did their training. Others believe they should be freen to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some parents think that helping their children with homework is a good idea. Others believe children should do their homework on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.