When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks and sports facilities rather than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

It is often argued, that while designing new towns more

provision

Fix the agreement mistake

provisions

show examples

for

construction

Add an article

the construction

show examples

parks

and

sports

amenities should be considered rather than shopping malls. I completely agree with

this

notion that

parks

and

sports

are more important for public welfare as compared to shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

Firstly

, building more

parks

and providing better

sports

facilities will enhance

Add an article

the

show examples

healthy lifestyle of individuals. Recreational activities are very important for all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

age groups whether children, teenagers, adults or old age people.

Nowdays

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Nowadays

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, due to

sedentary

Correct article usage

the sedentary

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lifestyle

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lifestyles

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public

parks

provide a good platform

Change preposition

for

show examples

all individuals to relax and spend their time in leisure and it is beneficial for both physical as well as psychological wellness.

For instance

, Chandigarh is considered

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apply

show examples

Add a hyphen

best-planned

show examples

best

Add an article

a best

show examples

planned city in India.The reason behind

this

is its

designing

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design

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and

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

salient feature of

this

city is public

parks

in every society which not only contributes to

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

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lifestyle

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but

keeping

Wrong verb form

keeps

show examples

Correct your spelling

environment

enviroment

Correct article usage

the enviroment

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pollution free

Add a hyphen

pollution-free

show examples

Secondly

, constructing more shopping malls means, people will more often opt to go

for

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apply

show examples

shopping,

thus

there will be

Add an article

show examples

rise in their expenditure.

On the other hand

building

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,building

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sports

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

will help the youngsters to do

more well

Replace the words

better

show examples

in their respected field. It will give

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apply

show examples

better players to the nation and they can achieve more awards and honours for their countries in

olympics

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Olympics

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or world federation games. One of the best

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

proving

this

is Japan

who

Correct pronoun usage

which

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won maximum prizes in

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

olympic

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Olympic

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games in 2020.

This

was possible because their

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

has constructed more

sports

academies in every city to promote and boost the players. To conclude, recreational grounds and

sports

centers

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centres

show examples

should

be build

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be building

be built

show examples

more while planning new towns rather than shopping malls.

This

will not only be beneficial for an individual but for

prosperity

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the prosperity

show examples

whole

Add an article

the whole

a whole

show examples

nation.

Submitted by drvishal13 on Sat May 07 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks and sports facilities rather than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Adult youths are often called up for the working development of communities. Some people say that they should be paid others say that they should not be paid. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To extend do you agree ?