IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

CHILDREN SHOULD ALWAYS FOLLOW THEIR PARENTS’ ADVICE. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

#children #parents’ #advice
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In general, the majority of people think youngsters must listen and follow their
parents
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' words no matter what,
while
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 others believe that not necessarily
children
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 should take their
parents
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' advice all the time for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
. From my perspective, I definitely think that young individuals should listen to adults but sometimes they should make decisions by themselves without asking their
parents
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' opinions. First of all, If
parents
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 do things or make every single decision for their kids, their
children
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 will encounter depression and unexpected issues in their lives.
For instance
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, when I was in high school, my classmates used to participate in outdoor activities after school but I almost always went straight to my home because my
parents
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 told me to do so.
Although
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, there was nothing serious change in my life at the beginning,later I found myself being lonely which put me into depression.
Therefore
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, even though
parents
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 have to protect their
children
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 from any possible dangers, sometimes they worry too much and overact which affects their kids' personalities negatively.
Secondly
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,
children
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 should learn how to be independent. If
parents
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 teach their
children
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 how to make simple decisions by themselves and not involve their
parents
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 in it.
For example
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, when I was a child, my grandparents used to give advice when there was something serious but apart from ,that I used to make my
oven
Correct your spelling
own
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 judgement and make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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simple choices
such
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 as how many hours to play with my friend, when to study and when to eat etc.
As a result
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, I became much more independent than others who listen to their
parents
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' advice all the time and isolate themselves. In conclusion,
although
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 listening to adults' opinions is significantly important to
children
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, it is
also
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 important to make their
oven
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 decisions in order to prevent
further
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 problems
as well as
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 learn to be independent.
Submitted by khulka.khulan.1 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the prompt and fully develops the ideas presented.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay to enhance the logical flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental guidance
  • crucial
  • life lessons
  • best interests
  • life experience
  • understanding
  • challenges
  • invaluable
  • independence
  • critical thinking
  • relying solely
  • hinder
  • beliefs
  • desires
  • generational changes
  • rapid pace
  • social and technological changes
  • outdated
  • applicable
  • digital age
  • necessitating
  • balance
  • tradition
  • modernity
  • deeply ingrained
  • value
  • evolve
  • honoring
  • deviating
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