IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

CHILDREN SHOULD ALWAYS FOLLOW THEIR PARENTS’ ADVICE. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

#children #parents’ #advice
In general, the majority of people think youngsters must listen and follow their
parents
' words no matter what,
while
 others believe that not necessarily
children
 should take their
parents
' advice all the time for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
. From my perspective, I definitely think that young individuals should listen to adults but sometimes they should make decisions by themselves without asking their
parents
' opinions. First of all, If
parents
 do things or make every single decision for their kids, their
children
 will encounter depression and unexpected issues in their lives.
For instance
, when I was in high school, my classmates used to participate in outdoor activities after school but I almost always went straight to my home because my
parents
 told me to do so.
Although
, there was nothing serious change in my life at the beginning,later I found myself being lonely which put me into depression.
Therefore
, even though
parents
 have to protect their
children
 from any possible dangers, sometimes they worry too much and overact which affects their kids' personalities negatively.
Secondly
,
children
 should learn how to be independent. If
parents
 teach their
children
 how to make simple decisions by themselves and not involve their
parents
 in it.
For example
, when I was a child, my grandparents used to give advice when there was something serious but apart from ,that I used to make my
oven
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 judgement and make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
simple choices
such
 as how many hours to play with my friend, when to study and when to eat etc.
As a result
, I became much more independent than others who listen to their
parents
' advice all the time and isolate themselves. In conclusion,
although
 listening to adults' opinions is significantly important to
children
, it is
also
 important to make their
oven
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 decisions in order to prevent
further
 problems
as well as
 learn to be independent.
Submitted by khulka.khulan.1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the prompt and fully develops the ideas presented.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay to enhance the logical flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental guidance
  • crucial
  • life lessons
  • best interests
  • life experience
  • understanding
  • challenges
  • invaluable
  • independence
  • critical thinking
  • relying solely
  • hinder
  • beliefs
  • desires
  • generational changes
  • rapid pace
  • social and technological changes
  • outdated
  • applicable
  • digital age
  • necessitating
  • balance
  • tradition
  • modernity
  • deeply ingrained
  • value
  • evolve
  • honoring
  • deviating
What to do next:
Look at other essays: