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Writing Samples
Band 8

Today there is a great increase in antisocial personal behavior such as committing a crime. What are the causes of this? Who should be responsible for this problem

#behavior #crime
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It is true that there is a huge rise in the number of antisocial personal behaviour, often resulting in committing a crime. There are various reasons why
this
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 happens, but the government, community and family can take steps to address
this
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 issue. There are several reasons why I would argue that the number of individuals who do illegal activities increases significantly.
To begin
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 with, poverty and unemployment contribute to an environment where crime becomes an actual means of survival.
For example
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, the majority of people who have been arrested because they stole others' assets admitted that they did that because they are poor.
Furthermore
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, a lack of community and family support can
also
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 lead to
this
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 issue. By
this
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, I mean there is limited access to social activities, mental health support , opportunities for recreation and positive engagement, thereby creating an environment that might see a higher rate of criminals. Since
such
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 issues are serious, the government and individuals should take steps immediately to address these problems. The first solution would be for the government to implement laws, policies, and initiatives that can address the root cause of
this
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 problem, including law enforcement, funding social programs and community development efforts.
Moreover
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, the local communities should spend more attention on each individual, and offer mentorship and education to prevent crimes.
Finally
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, family plays an important role in guiding and instructing a person’s personality, providing a supportive and stable environment for people to grow up positively. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as antisocial personal behaviour rises dramatically these days.
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task achievement
Ensure to fully address all aspects of the given topic in order to enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a coherent manner by using paragraphs and linking words effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more expressive and precise.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your grammatical accuracy and strive for a wider range of sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social inequality
  • frustration
  • antisocial behaviors
  • stable/unstable family environments
  • peer pressure
  • mental health issues
  • desensitize
  • glorify
  • quality education
  • drop-out rates
  • moral and ethical outlook
  • gang behavior
  • media influence
What to do next:
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